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Irate Visitors Rage Here, if you must. Fear and Loathing in Las Deathlist


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#881 Rotten Ali

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Posted 02 April 2012 - 05:40 AM

Think we need to send Jim to Chuck Testa.
Three down, 47 to go...
DL Shadow List: King Abdullah, Muhammad Ali, Sir Richard Attenborough, Tariq Aziz, Pope Benedict XVI, Tony Benn, Ian Brady, George HW Bush, Sid Caeser, Fidel Castro, George Cole, Katherine Crowe, Liz Dawn, Bob Dole, Kirk Douglas, Jean Claude Duvalier, Queen Fabiola of Belgium, Louis Farrakhan, Aretha Franklin, Zsa Zsa Gabor, James Garner, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Mikhail Gorbachev, Billy Graham, King Harald V of Norway, Valerie Harper, Joao Havelange, Stephen Hawking, Jimmy Hill, Clive James, Yahya Jammeh, General Jaruzelski, Wilko Johnson, Casey Kasem, Stan Lee, Jerry Lee Lewis, Penny Marshall, T O N Mbasogo, Mary Tyler Moore, Hosni Mubarak, Ian Paisley, Nancy Reagan, Albert Reynolds, Ariel Sharon, Sam Simon, Jeremy Thorpe, Gough Whitlam, Lee Kuan Yew, Michael York & Jiang Zemin. 3/50

#882 Paul Bearer

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Posted 02 April 2012 - 06:42 PM

View PostJim Dickenburger, on 01 April 2012 - 04:36 PM, said:

Guys and Gal - Jesus Christ, stop freaking out. When I started this place it was all about having relations with the dead, but love among the living. Lard Bazaar, for whatever reason, thinks that pointing out grammatical errors makes her one of the higher thinkers... Luv, you're with us on the Deathlist, you're overcompensating darling, no one will fall for it - if you feel the urgent need to try and to point out how bright you are, you're not so smart. The lady doth protest like a byatch every other message, have you seen that? Crikey - yes, well done Lard, you have a rudimentary understanding of grammar and yet you still love fantasising about people dying, its nothing anyone will be amazed about.

Still, something we can laugh about. We've got the old spellchecker on alert in case someone slips up, she'll drag her fat ass onto the case and let us know correct grammar equals intelligence...? Um, okay Lard, if you say so. Laughs out loud. Naw, but I kid, she's jolly like the laughing policeman.

Anyway, I was very, very, VERY upset to be referred to as a troll several times. This was maybe one of the most hurtful things anyone could have ever said and it struck me to the bone. It was a dynamic and original attack on me, the founder of the Deathlist, but stung me like a bee. I saw many sentences that said "yes we are cunts, troll, but we are cunts who cannot handle being criticised, troll..." It was like, is this dick going to think of something to defend them or just end every sentence with 'troll'? What a total penis, he did't do himself proud, but then again we can't defend a site like ours.

I was upset - my fellow corpse fucking pals were shamed - it wasn't a good scene. Guys, let me back into the fold and we can maybe talk. I've killed a duck this morning and tried to force my penis in its beak. It was dead but I was so hard it was great. All of us here know what that is about so you know I'm still of the same mindframe as you friends. Lets suckle on the milky nipples of death together and laugh when one of our sisters die like a whore, mmmmmm, it's gooooodddd....


This is true my form is something odd,
But blaming me is blaming God;
Could I create myself anew
I would not fail in pleasing you.

#883 Guest_Dirk Digler_*

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Posted 02 April 2012 - 07:06 PM

Fuck, even the drive by merchants are utter wank now.
Oh for a decent troll or summat.

#884 maryportfuncity

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Posted 04 April 2012 - 05:31 PM

SUMMAT!

Well, that's half of what you wanted, right Dirk?
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Maryport is a disappointment for which there is no cure, but the annual Deathrace thread hereabouts provides welcome distraction.

#885 Guest_Dirk Diggler_*

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 06:58 PM

View Postmaryportfuncity, on 04 April 2012 - 05:31 PM, said:

SUMMAT!

Well, that's half of what you wanted, right Dirk?
You are class!!!
Now, If I may be so bold as to suggest such a possibility, has anybody tried recruiting Trolls from Twatter?
Such a rich seam to mine and with a lifelong guarantee that no prosecutions would be sought by the members of this sceptic organ, Im sure you could all seperate the wheat from the chaff, or should that be the spotty pissed up student from the genuine thoroughbred.
Just an idea, like.

#886 Guest_Betty Stankwains_*

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Posted 08 April 2012 - 11:19 AM

Nag nag nag nag NAG!  When I started this place I wanted it to be a place where likeminded people who enjoy death, sex with corpses and being a collective of socially redundant twats could hang out.  The moaning though.  The fucking moaning.  Everyone complaining like cunts about every little thing - boo hoo my sister died - good, you're in the right place, we're glad she's dead but sad she wasn't a celebrity, let's still try and insert something into her dead anus just for the fun of it.  That's who we are, that's what we enjoy and that what I explain to other people when they ask me why I created the Deathlist.

The whinging is so tiresome, you miserable humourless fucks.  We've lost our focus brothers and sisters - death.  Sweet, sticky death.  It smells like poo but it tastes like cum, and who doesn't like the taste of cum?  Are you with me?  Yes you are.

But I need you to stay with me and my original idea for what this place could and should be. We all have our problems, sure - look at all of our posts, we don't exactly try and hide our failed and miserable lives, we revel in it. But I say we must be more proactive - why fuck a dead fox on the side of a road when we can fuck a human we've just dug up in a cemetary.  Think big!  Let's get what we want.  Now who is with me?  I said - Who Is With Me?!  Email me, the usual suspects, and let me know if you still agree, apologies for my late replies over the last couple of weeks.

#887 Guest_Dirk Diggler_*

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Posted 08 April 2012 - 12:04 PM

View PostBetty Stankwains, on 08 April 2012 - 11:19 AM, said:

Nag nag nag nag NAG! When I started this place I wanted it to be a place where likeminded people who enjoy death, sex with corpses and being a collective of socially redundant twats could hang out. The moaning though. The fucking moaning. Everyone complaining like cunts about every little thing - boo hoo my sister died - good, you're in the right place, we're glad she's dead but sad she wasn't a celebrity, let's still try and insert something into her dead anus just for the fun of it. That's who we are, that's what we enjoy and that what I explain to other people when they ask me why I created the Deathlist.

The whinging is so tiresome, you miserable humourless fucks. We've lost our focus brothers and sisters - death. Sweet, sticky death. It smells like poo but it tastes like cum, and who doesn't like the taste of cum? Are you with me? Yes you are.

But I need you to stay with me and my original idea for what this place could and should be. We all have our problems, sure - look at all of our posts, we don't exactly try and hide our failed and miserable lives, we revel in it. But I say we must be more proactive - why fuck a dead fox on the side of a road when we can fuck a human we've just dug up in a cemetary. Think big! Let's get what we want. Now who is with me? I said - Who Is With Me?! Email me, the usual suspects, and let me know if you still agree, apologies for my late replies over the last couple of weeks.
Somebody convince me that this isnt that American fuckwitt.

#888 Guest_Dirk Diggler_*

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Posted 08 April 2012 - 12:52 PM

In fact somedy convince me we don't kill this guy and eat his intestines right now.  My balls may be as tiny as frozen peas but I want blood!  Now!  Death!  We. Must. Kill.

#889 the_engineer

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Posted 08 April 2012 - 02:33 PM

View PostDirk Diggler, on 08 April 2012 - 12:52 PM, said:

In fact somedy convince me we don't kill this guy and eat his intestines right now. My balls may be as tiny as frozen peas but I want blood! Now! Death! We. Must. Kill.

that's cannibalism and murder sir !!
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#890 Rotten Ali

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Posted 08 April 2012 - 03:01 PM

View PostBetty Stankwains, on 08 April 2012 - 11:19 AM, said:

Nag nag nag nag NAG!  When I started this place I wanted it to be a place where likeminded people who enjoy death, sex with corpses and being a collective of socially redundant twats could hang out.  The moaning though.  The fucking moaning.  Everyone complaining like cunts about every little thing - boo hoo my sister died - good, you're in the right place, we're glad she's dead but sad she wasn't a celebrity, let's still try and insert something into her dead anus just for the fun of it.  That's who we are, that's what we enjoy and that what I explain to other people when they ask me why I created the Deathlist.

The whinging is so tiresome, you miserable humourless fucks.  We've lost our focus brothers and sisters - death.  Sweet, sticky death.  It smells like poo but it tastes like cum, and who doesn't like the taste of cum?  Are you with me?  Yes you are.

But I need you to stay with me and my original idea for what this place could and should be. We all have our problems, sure - look at all of our posts, we don't exactly try and hide our failed and miserable lives, we revel in it. But I say we must be more proactive - why fuck a dead fox on the side of a road when we can fuck a human we've just dug up in a cemetary.  Think big!  Let's get what we want.  Now who is with me?  I said - Who Is With Me?!  Email me, the usual suspects, and let me know if you still agree, apologies for my late replies over the last couple of weeks.
Sorry, but I really have to call you a grade A1 tw4t.
Three down, 47 to go...
DL Shadow List: King Abdullah, Muhammad Ali, Sir Richard Attenborough, Tariq Aziz, Pope Benedict XVI, Tony Benn, Ian Brady, George HW Bush, Sid Caeser, Fidel Castro, George Cole, Katherine Crowe, Liz Dawn, Bob Dole, Kirk Douglas, Jean Claude Duvalier, Queen Fabiola of Belgium, Louis Farrakhan, Aretha Franklin, Zsa Zsa Gabor, James Garner, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Mikhail Gorbachev, Billy Graham, King Harald V of Norway, Valerie Harper, Joao Havelange, Stephen Hawking, Jimmy Hill, Clive James, Yahya Jammeh, General Jaruzelski, Wilko Johnson, Casey Kasem, Stan Lee, Jerry Lee Lewis, Penny Marshall, T O N Mbasogo, Mary Tyler Moore, Hosni Mubarak, Ian Paisley, Nancy Reagan, Albert Reynolds, Ariel Sharon, Sam Simon, Jeremy Thorpe, Gough Whitlam, Lee Kuan Yew, Michael York & Jiang Zemin. 3/50

#891 Lard Bazaar

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Posted 08 April 2012 - 04:13 PM

View PostBetty Stankwains, on 08 April 2012 - 11:19 AM, said:

Nag nag nag nag NAG! When I started this place I wanted it to be a place where likeminded people who enjoy death, sex with corpses and being a collective of socially redundant twats could hang out. The moaning though. The fucking moaning. Everyone complaining like cunts about every little thing - boo hoo my sister died - good, you're in the right place, we're glad she's dead but sad she wasn't a celebrity, let's still try and insert something into her dead anus just for the fun of it. That's who we are, that's what we enjoy and that what I explain to other people when they ask me why I created the Deathlist.

The whinging is so tiresome, you miserable humourless fucks. We've lost our focus brothers and sisters - death. Sweet, sticky death. It smells like poo but it tastes like cum, and who doesn't like the taste of cum? Are you with me? Yes you are.

But I need you to stay with me and my original idea for what this place could and should be. We all have our problems, sure - look at all of our posts, we don't exactly try and hide our failed and miserable lives, we revel in it. But I say we must be more proactive - why fuck a dead fox on the side of a road when we can fuck a human we've just dug up in a cemetary. Think big! Let's get what we want. Now who is with me? I said - Who Is With Me?! Email me, the usual suspects, and let me know if you still agree, apologies for my late replies over the last couple of weeks.

Ah, the old 'dead sister' chestnut. You disappoint me - I didn't think you would fall back on that one quite so soon. Now, I don't believe your rantings (that have now become personal) can be solely because I think that people who use 'lol' are dumbasses, so do tell - what exactly is it about me that has got you into such a froth, apart from jealousy of my stunning intelligence, pant-wetting sense of humour and smouldering beauty? Or perhaps I'm completely wrong, and you just randomly picked me to direct your fuckwittery at - so come on, do your best. If you think using my dead sister is a way of trying to upset me, knock yourself out - I have FAR bigger fish to fry than a mentally deranged twat who's mummy obviously dressed him as a girl when he was small, and who's now pissed off because even though he's 42 he still can't stop putting on her nightie and calling himself Marjorie at the weekends. But please, carry on, it's most amusing to imagine you sat behind your keyboard, one ear listening out for mummy, sweaty ballbag in hand just itching for me to reply so you can bang one out into your sock.

#892 maryportfuncity

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Posted 08 April 2012 - 08:41 PM

...my stunning intelligence, pant-wetting sense of humour and smouldering beauty?

Well, it's why the rest of us bother...go Lardy!!!
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Maryport is a disappointment for which there is no cure, but the annual Deathrace thread hereabouts provides welcome distraction.

#893 CarolAnn

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Posted 10 April 2012 - 01:35 AM

I thought smouldering beauty was a requirement for membership.
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#894 Guest_Lucretia_*

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Posted 10 April 2012 - 01:27 PM

I am not really irate but I came up with this idea of a death list a while ago and never thought anyone would have the bad taste to do it too! Do you ever include wild cards I had Bob Dylan on mine and The Queen Mother for years. I was actually under the impression that mine was a good list to be on as my listees seemed to last forever. a longevity list.

#895 Bibliogryphon

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Posted 11 April 2012 - 11:50 AM

Is this really in bad taste? My take on this is we are discussing the probability of death and survival based on available evidence. We are not actively willing individuals to die (with a few notable exceptions!) but taking a fair guess at those that will.

My interest was initially sparked a few years ago when the were a number of deaths of people you would not expect; Jeremy Beadle, Heath Ledger and Mark Speight. So wildcards are good keep them coming!

And whatever else surely all the famous icons on everbody's lists would at least want their passing to be marked!
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#896 Madame Defarge

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Posted 14 April 2012 - 02:45 AM

View PostDirk Diggler, on 08 April 2012 - 12:04 PM, said:

View PostBetty Stankwains, on 08 April 2012 - 11:19 AM, said:

Nag nag nag nag NAG! When I started this place I wanted it to be a place where likeminded people who enjoy death, sex with corpses and being a collective of socially redundant twats could hang out. The moaning though. The fucking moaning. Everyone complaining like cunts about every little thing - boo hoo my sister died - good, you're in the right place, we're glad she's dead but sad she wasn't a celebrity, let's still try and insert something into her dead anus just for the fun of it. That's who we are, that's what we enjoy and that what I explain to other people when they ask me why I created the Deathlist.

The whinging is so tiresome, you miserable humourless fucks. We've lost our focus brothers and sisters - death. Sweet, sticky death. It smells like poo but it tastes like cum, and who doesn't like the taste of cum? Are you with me? Yes you are.

But I need you to stay with me and my original idea for what this place could and should be. We all have our problems, sure - look at all of our posts, we don't exactly try and hide our failed and miserable lives, we revel in it. But I say we must be more proactive - why fuck a dead fox on the side of a road when we can fuck a human we've just dug up in a cemetary. Think big! Let's get what we want. Now who is with me? I said - Who Is With Me?! Email me, the usual suspects, and let me know if you still agree, apologies for my late replies over the last couple of weeks.
Somebody convince me that this isnt that American fuckwitt.

Okay.

Twat - rarely used in this context in the U.S.
Cunt - rarely if ever used to describe males or a group of mixed males and females.
Whinging - never used in the States. We bitch and moan but we don't whinge.
Humourless- of course not, we spel funnie over hear. humourless is humorless in the US.
Think, in this batter'd Caravanserai
Whose Doorways are alternate Night and Day,
How Sultan after Sultan with his Pomp
Abode his Hour or two and went his way.

#897 Guest_Dirk Diggler_*

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Posted 14 April 2012 - 05:25 PM

View PostMadame Defarge, on 14 April 2012 - 02:45 AM, said:

View PostDirk Diggler, on 08 April 2012 - 12:04 PM, said:

View PostBetty Stankwains, on 08 April 2012 - 11:19 AM, said:

Nag nag nag nag NAG! When I started this place I wanted it to be a place where likeminded people who enjoy death, sex with corpses and being a collective of socially redundant twats could hang out. The moaning though. The fucking moaning. Everyone complaining like cunts about every little thing - boo hoo my sister died - good, you're in the right place, we're glad she's dead but sad she wasn't a celebrity, let's still try and insert something into her dead anus just for the fun of it. That's who we are, that's what we enjoy and that what I explain to other people when they ask me why I created the Deathlist.

The whinging is so tiresome, you miserable humourless fucks. We've lost our focus brothers and sisters - death. Sweet, sticky death. It smells like poo but it tastes like cum, and who doesn't like the taste of cum? Are you with me? Yes you are.

But I need you to stay with me and my original idea for what this place could and should be. We all have our problems, sure - look at all of our posts, we don't exactly try and hide our failed and miserable lives, we revel in it. But I say we must be more proactive - why fuck a dead fox on the side of a road when we can fuck a human we've just dug up in a cemetary. Think big! Let's get what we want. Now who is with me? I said - Who Is With Me?! Email me, the usual suspects, and let me know if you still agree, apologies for my late replies over the last couple of weeks.
Somebody convince me that this isnt that American fuckwitt.

Okay.

Twat - rarely used in this context in the U.S.
Cunt - rarely if ever used to describe males or a group of mixed males and females.
Whinging - never used in the States. We bitch and moan but we don't whinge.
Humourless- of course not, we spel funnie over hear. humourless is humorless in the US.
Quite true. Ordinarily Id agree 100% with your findings, however, it is known that Mr Fuckwitt is very much smarter than the average Bear and has been known to "mimic" ( for want of a better word) broad Glaswegian dialect, good enough to fool our chums North of the Border.
Put nothing past him, do not under estimate him, do not make assumptions.
I still think he is a candidate Madame, one of two actually, the other one is a smiling assassin.........

#898 Madame Defarge

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Posted 14 April 2012 - 09:40 PM

So this is no garden variety troll then, but a cunning linguist? Intriguing.
Think, in this batter'd Caravanserai
Whose Doorways are alternate Night and Day,
How Sultan after Sultan with his Pomp
Abode his Hour or two and went his way.

#899 Guest_Dirk Dickhead_*

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Posted 15 April 2012 - 06:34 PM

Guys, we need to get some harmony going on here, we need to touch the balls of death and get its unholy cream on our faces.  I am personally giving up my time for you to do this, although I have FAR bigger fish to fry (and by that I mean I've got to add some posts to a messageboard about dead celebrities - massive fish, very important work).

My vision when I created this places was for it to be a subtle blend of death, masterbation and insecurity, and we're doing ok-ish.  But we should be doing more.  For instance, I pushed a snail into the end of my penis and let it hang there for about 7 minutes.  I pretended it was Kerry Katona but dead and sure as hell my veiney cocksnake responded.  We should all be doing something like that just to really fuck the sticky cavity mucas out of death and let it drip on our knees.

Let's get it together brothers and sisters. We must once again live up to why I created this place, and that's to touch corpses.  Dry old corpses.  Delicious.  From your emails after the last time I was glad to see I had so much support, thank you to all and keep wanking!

#900 maryportfuncity

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Posted 15 April 2012 - 06:43 PM

Posted Image
Posted Image


Maryport is a disappointment for which there is no cure, but the annual Deathrace thread hereabouts provides welcome distraction.




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