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Golf: The 19th Hole A good walk spoiled


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#1 harrymcnallysblueandwhitearmy

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Posted 16 July 2007 - 05:58 PM

The upcoming Open Championship and the announcement of Seve’s long overdue retirement led me to wonder what old golfers are still out on the course but trudging towards the great clubhouse in the sky. The DL has a half decent record with golfers in past years (Gene Sarazen, Sam Snead, Byron Nelson) and while most of the game’s legends are either gone or not old enough (Nicklaus, Palmer, Player), there are currently, to the best of my knowledge, just 7 men who have won a Major still alive at 80+. No idea how their health is, but step forward:

Tommy Bolt, 89
Kel Nagle, 86
Doug Ford, 85
Jack Fleck, 85
Jack Burke, 84
Roberto de Vicenzo, 84
Bob Rosberg, 80

None would be famous enough for the DL, but might be a consideration for other pools.

Now now, don't all run at once to get involved in such a blockbuster of a thread...

why, you little...


#2 Monoclinic

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Posted 16 July 2007 - 07:13 PM

Yet another famous Belgian!

Flory Van Donck, at 95 I am hoping his next hole is 6 ft deep as I have chosen him in the Weatherman thingamebob.

#3 Octopus of Odstock

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Posted 16 July 2007 - 08:13 PM

Jean van de Velde, he of Carnoustie glorious failure, may have bone cancer.

I do hope not, but one to keep an eye on.

#4 Lord Fellatio Nelson

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Posted 19 July 2007 - 07:55 PM

Probably the funniest thing ive read so far ( with the exception of the ramblings of BS ) is the article at the back of the Sun ( yes Im a working class thick bastard) in which Gary Player suggests that the drugs problem in sport has now surfaced in Golf. He believes that at least 10 top class pros are on something (Mogadon?) illegal.
Performance enhancing drugs and Golf? Is it April Fools?
WTFs it all about?


'Topic merged with existing Golf topic'. Lady G.
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#5 Captain Oates

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Posted 19 July 2007 - 08:11 PM

When I saw the link to this thread in the index, I thought "The March (not quite all the way) To The Scaffold."

Oh well, I suppose even golf pros have to die, eventually. . .
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#6 Banshees Scream

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Posted 19 July 2007 - 08:13 PM

The yips or to rephrase 'the shakes in golf' are a combination of ecstasy and cocain. Somebody tell me what Tiger Woods is doing. :pop:

Three lines after breakfast? I actually had a relative who was a caddy for Babe Ruth. I would imagine he was receiving a good salary at the time.

#7 Gunjaman5000

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Posted 19 July 2007 - 10:49 PM

Hard living John Daly is a golfer worth keeping an eye on. Whether it's his big drinking ways or angry knife-wielding wife, the chances of 'Long' John Daly dying an old man must be slimmer than most.

As for the thread title, a good walk spoiled? A walk with something to do's a bit more like it, you can't tell me there's any fun in walking for the sake of it.
They burned the mother down.

#8 Cowboy Ronnie

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Posted 20 July 2007 - 08:27 AM

View PostGunjaman5000, on Jul 19 2007, 11:49 PM, said:

Hard living John Daly is a golfer worth keeping an eye on. Whether it's his big drinking ways or angry knife-wielding wife, the chances of 'Long' John Daly dying an old man must be slimmer than most.

As for the thread title, a good walk spoiled? A walk with something to do's a bit more like it, you can't tell me there's any fun in walking for the sake of it.

1. John Daly - excellent shout. I think he might spontaneously combust when he gets a 9 on one of Carnoustie's more treacherous holes.

2. Gary Player's probably right. Golfers hit the ball much further today than they used to, which could be down to a combination of better clubs and balls, and fitter players. But professional sport is rife with drugs, and there are plenty of benefits to one's game that steroids/HGH would impart.

3. Having hacked my way around a few courses, I'd say Mark Twain was spot on with his analysis of the game.

#9 millwall32

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Posted 04 August 2007 - 01:01 PM

A few here {http://www.europeant...7846&infosid=1}

should be shuffling off soon
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#10 Canadian Paul

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Posted 20 August 2007 - 07:34 PM

View PostMonoclinic, on Jul 16 2007, 12:13 PM, said:

Yet another famous Belgian!

Flory Van Donck, at 95 I am hoping his next hole is 6 ft deep as I have chosen him in the Weatherman thingamebob.

Had a dream last night where he died - either you're up for a hit soon or I'm up for a 2008 HDP candidate! :lol:
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#11 Lord Fellatio Nelson

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Posted 20 August 2007 - 07:44 PM

View PostCanadian Paul, on Aug 20 2007, 08:34 PM, said:

View PostMonoclinic, on Jul 16 2007, 12:13 PM, said:

Yet another famous Belgian!

Flory Van Donck, at 95 I am hoping his next hole is 6 ft deep as I have chosen him in the Weatherman thingamebob.

Had a dream last night where he died - either you're up for a hit soon or I'm up for a 2008 HDP candidate! :lol:

Good grief CP.
Any other man would have a dream about a "Fit bird wiv big Bristols".
Perhaps a weeks rest and a flick through Razzle will have you back to your normal self?
2014 Hartlepool Deadly Pool Team: The Wankers Arms PH
Candidates:
Olivia De Havilland
Carol Channing
Eli Wallach
Kirk Douglas
Jimmy Hill
Luise Ranier
Abe Vigoda
Paul Gascoigne
Clifton James
Sid Caesar

Subs: Maureen O'Hara and Christopher Lee

#12 Canadian Paul

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Posted 20 August 2007 - 08:24 PM

View PostLord Fellatio Nelson, on Aug 20 2007, 12:44 PM, said:

View PostCanadian Paul, on Aug 20 2007, 08:34 PM, said:

View PostMonoclinic, on Jul 16 2007, 12:13 PM, said:

Yet another famous Belgian!

Flory Van Donck, at 95 I am hoping his next hole is 6 ft deep as I have chosen him in the Weatherman thingamebob.

Had a dream last night where he died - either you're up for a hit soon or I'm up for a 2008 HDP candidate! :lol:

Good grief CP.
Any other man would have a dream about a "Fit bird wiv big Bristols".
Perhaps a weeks rest and a flick through Razzle will have you back to your normal self?

Well to elaborate, I was having a dream where a "fit bird wiv big Bristols" and I were undercover in 1944 Germany. We barely spoke any German, but we had Nazi uniforms and were trying to sneak through their headquarters, which for some reason was a hotel that was designed to resemble Castle Wolfenstein. Anyhow, the aforementioned bird had just come back from a document raid (we had a room in the hotel) but her superior was right pissed that she had forgotten to recover the envelope that was sent "express post." I decided to be bold and brazen and go for the documents myself. It was terribly suspenseful, slipping past Nazi guards, giving a few Sieg Hiels and dashing in and out of corridors and doorways to avoid detection. Finally, I reached the desk and began sorting through the mail as I heard footsteps approaching. Finally, I spot the white envelope with green writing marked "express post," check to make sure that it is what I want and run off just before the guard comes back. Then I hear a guard approaching from in front so I jump into a two-way utility closet and stash the envelope under my shirt. As I am leaving into the hallway, I knock down the water fountain and yell out "sh*t!" Only then to I realize that I should have yelled "Schiesse!" The janitor notices so I say "Many forgiveness mein comrade, I am only trying to learn the English" and for some reason he was Mexican (damn my racist subconscious!) so he doesn't seem to care. Then I hear "Achtung! Achtung!" and hear the footsteps of pursuit. Instead of taking the elevator I make a mad dash down the stairs and into the room where my secret agent "wiv da big Bristols" awaits.

Had the garbage truck not woken me up, I'm sure she would have rewarded me with hours of boundless joy in the hotel room tea and crumpets. Instead, I fell back asleep and dreamed that BS was chiding me because I didn't pick Flory Van Donck and she had died.
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#13 halleluyahjohntudor

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Posted 20 August 2007 - 09:34 PM

View PostCanadian Paul, on Aug 20 2007, 09:24 PM, said:

View PostLord Fellatio Nelson, on Aug 20 2007, 12:44 PM, said:

View PostCanadian Paul, on Aug 20 2007, 08:34 PM, said:

View PostMonoclinic, on Jul 16 2007, 12:13 PM, said:

Yet another famous Belgian!

Flory Van Donck, at 95 I am hoping his next hole is 6 ft deep as I have chosen him in the Weatherman thingamebob.

Had a dream last night where he died - either you're up for a hit soon or I'm up for a 2008 HDP candidate! :lol:

Good grief CP.
Any other man would have a dream about a "Fit bird wiv big Bristols".
Perhaps a weeks rest and a flick through Razzle will have you back to your normal self?

Well to elaborate, I was having a dream where a "fit bird wiv big Bristols" and I were undercover in 1944 Germany. We barely spoke any German, but we had Nazi uniforms and were trying to sneak through their headquarters, which for some reason was a hotel that was designed to resemble Castle Wolfenstein. Anyhow, the aforementioned bird had just come back from a document raid (we had a room in the hotel) but her superior was right pissed that she had forgotten to recover the envelope that was sent "express post." I decided to be bold and brazen and go for the documents myself. It was terribly suspenseful, slipping past Nazi guards, giving a few Sieg Hiels and dashing in and out of corridors and doorways to avoid detection. Finally, I reached the desk and began sorting through the mail as I heard footsteps approaching. Finally, I spot the white envelope with green writing marked "express post," check to make sure that it is what I want and run off just before the guard comes back. Then I hear a guard approaching from in front so I jump into a two-way utility closet and stash the envelope under my shirt. As I am leaving into the hallway, I knock down the water fountain and yell out "sh*t!" Only then to I realize that I should have yelled "Schiesse!" The janitor notices so I say "Many forgiveness mein comrade, I am only trying to learn the English" and for some reason he was Mexican (damn my racist subconscious!) so he doesn't seem to care. Then I hear "Achtung! Achtung!" and hear the footsteps of pursuit. Instead of taking the elevator I make a mad dash down the stairs and into the room where my secret agent "wiv da big Bristols" awaits.

Had the garbage truck not woken me up, I'm sure she would have rewarded me with hours of boundless joy in the hotel room tea and crumpets. Instead, I fell back asleep and dreamed that BS was chiding me because I didn't pick Flory Van Donck and she had died.
How can you be so sure that it was a two-way utlity shaft?

#14 Dead O'Gonner

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Posted 21 August 2007 - 03:28 PM

View PostCanadian Paul, on Aug 20 2007, 09:24 PM, said:

View PostLord Fellatio Nelson, on Aug 20 2007, 12:44 PM, said:

View PostCanadian Paul, on Aug 20 2007, 08:34 PM, said:

View PostMonoclinic, on Jul 16 2007, 12:13 PM, said:

Yet another famous Belgian!

Flory Van Donck, at 95 I am hoping his next hole is 6 ft deep as I have chosen him in the Weatherman thingamebob.

Had a dream last night where he died - either you're up for a hit soon or I'm up for a 2008 HDP candidate! :lol:

Good grief CP.
Any other man would have a dream about a "Fit bird wiv big Bristols".
Perhaps a weeks rest and a flick through Razzle will have you back to your normal self?

Well to elaborate, I was having a dream where a "fit bird wiv big Bristols" and I were undercover in 1944 Germany. We barely spoke any German, but we had Nazi uniforms and were trying to sneak through their headquarters, which for some reason was a hotel that was designed to resemble Castle Wolfenstein. Anyhow, the aforementioned bird had just come back from a document raid (we had a room in the hotel) but her superior was right pissed that she had forgotten to recover the envelope that was sent "express post." I decided to be bold and brazen and go for the documents myself. It was terribly suspenseful, slipping past Nazi guards, giving a few Sieg Hiels and dashing in and out of corridors and doorways to avoid detection. Finally, I reached the desk and began sorting through the mail as I heard footsteps approaching. Finally, I spot the white envelope with green writing marked "express post," check to make sure that it is what I want and run off just before the guard comes back. Then I hear a guard approaching from in front so I jump into a two-way utility closet and stash the envelope under my shirt. As I am leaving into the hallway, I knock down the water fountain and yell out "sh*t!" Only then to I realize that I should have yelled "Schiesse!" The janitor notices so I say "Many forgiveness mein comrade, I am only trying to learn the English" and for some reason he was Mexican (damn my racist subconscious!) so he doesn't seem to care. Then I hear "Achtung! Achtung!" and hear the footsteps of pursuit. Instead of taking the elevator I make a mad dash down the stairs and into the room where my secret agent "wiv da big Bristols" awaits.

Had the garbage truck not woken me up, I'm sure she would have rewarded me with hours of boundless joy in the hotel room tea and crumpets. Instead, I fell back asleep and dreamed that BS was chiding me because I didn't pick Flory Van Donck and she had died.

Was the above dream also a episode of 'Allo Allo'? I cant help but find similarity's 'fit bird with big bristols' could be the painting of the 'fallen Madonna with big bobbies' But don't worry i shall only post this once!
They will see its all a show keep them laughing as you go, just remember that the last laugh is on you!

#15 Banshees Scream

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Posted 21 August 2007 - 04:58 PM

Quote

Had the garbage truck not woken me up, I'm sure she would have rewarded me with hours of boundless joy in the hotel room tea and crumpets. Instead, I fell back asleep and dreamed that BS was chiding me because I didn't pick Flory Van Donck and she had died.

Excellent, the creativity of ones mind. The comedy genius is in you!

I have to point out that this line almost seems scripted, but I'm under the impression that your words are as real as your dreams. I have to say that for me this section of the dream stands out most. It's a situation that turns ninety degrees...

As I am leaving into the hallway, I knock down the water fountain and yell out "sh*t!" Only then to I realize that I should have yelled "Schiesse!" The janitor notices so I say "Many forgiveness mein comrade, I am only trying to learn the English"

#16 Madame Defarge

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Posted 24 August 2007 - 05:41 AM

Scheisse! Isn't that Bill Murray weaving about in a golfcart?

Doesn't anyone enjoy a good walk anymore?
Think, in this batter'd Caravanserai
Whose Doorways are alternate Night and Day,
How Sultan after Sultan with his Pomp
Abode his Hour or two and went his way.

#17 DevonDeathTrip

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Posted 31 August 2007 - 11:04 PM

Gay Brewer, not a homosexual manufacturer of beer, but the winner of the 1967 Masters, has died of lung cancer at the age of 75.
Sometimes when we see the eyes- those horrible times when we see the eyes,eyes that ... that have no soul - then we know a darkness.

#18 Octopus of Odstock

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Posted 01 September 2008 - 07:47 PM

Tommy Bolt, US Open winning golfer, has died aged 92.

He should get a UK Obit & when he does VSBfromH will have a nice juicy 7 points!

#19 VSBfromH

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Posted 01 September 2008 - 08:18 PM

View PostOctopus of Odstock, on Sep 1 2008, 08:47 PM, said:

Tommy Bolt, US Open winning golfer, has died aged 92.

He should get a UK Obit & when he does VSBfromH will have a nice juicy 7 points!

Woohoo! Don't take it personally, Tommy, but it's about bloomin' time I got some more points!
Oh, Mickey! What's EGREGIOUS?!

#20 themaninblack

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Posted 01 September 2008 - 08:22 PM

View PostVSBfromH, on Sep 1 2008, 09:18 PM, said:

View PostOctopus of Odstock, on Sep 1 2008, 08:47 PM, said:

Tommy Bolt, US Open winning golfer, has died aged 92.

He should get a UK Obit & when he does VSBfromH will have a nice juicy 7 points!

Woohoo! Don't take it personally, Tommy, but it's about bloomin' time I got some more points!

A Bolt from the blue then...........














































...I'll get me coat! :rip:
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