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Room 101 Deathlisters Hate Pets


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#2661 time

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Posted 16 April 2012 - 03:06 PM

The FA.

Not content with pandering to the TV companies when scheduling the FA Cup semi-finals, they have announced the final will kick-off at 5:15.
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Deathrace 2014 Team: Billy Graham (Joker), Ethel Lang, Javier Perez De Cuellar, Efrem Zimbalist Jr., Vera Lynn,Kirk Douglas, Al Molinaro, Dora Bryan, John Glenn, Gerald Harper, Patricia Knatchbull, Francis Matthews, Sheila Mercier, Les Munro, Buck Henry, I. M. Pei, Joseph Wapner, Jimmy Young, Wojtech Jaruszelski, Doris Day

2014 Hartlepool Deadlypool Team: Rev Billy Graham, Ethel Lang, Javier Perez De Cuellar, Carl Reiner, Efrem Zimbalist Jr., Vera Lynn, Kirk Douglas, Maximilian Schell, Al Molinaro, BB King. Subs: Doris Day, Wojciech Jaruzelski

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#2662 Josco

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Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:12 PM

Little bit of a work place whinge here... I am going to be off sick for 10 days after next Thursday 26th, (a small op on my right hand, thank you for asking) but the company has decided to make me redundant during this time. Mrs Josco v. upset, and I can't help wondering if I'll ever work again.
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#2663 Phantom

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Posted 17 April 2012 - 06:57 PM

View PostJosco, on 17 April 2012 - 01:12 PM, said:

Little bit of a work place whinge here... I am going to be off sick for 10 days after next Thursday 26th, (a small op on my right hand, thank you for asking) but the company has decided to make me redundant during this time. Mrs Josco v. upset, and I can't help wondering if I'll ever work again.

Josco, sorry to hear that. Are they going to hire you back after the op and they're just looking for a way around paying you sick pay or are they just finding an excuse to lay people off?

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#2664 the_engineer

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Posted 17 April 2012 - 07:05 PM

View PostJosco, on 17 April 2012 - 01:12 PM, said:

Little bit of a work place whinge here... I am going to be off sick for 10 days after next Thursday 26th, (a small op on my right hand, thank you for asking) but the company has decided to make me redundant during this time. Mrs Josco v. upset, and I can't help wondering if I'll ever work again.

You should check you rights they may not be able to lay you off like that . You could argue they only made you redundant because you got ill.
I don't believe in coincidences

Basketball was invented in 1987 by konami.

A Man who never eats pork buns is never a whole man .

genesis 22 16 - 18

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wilko johnsonPosted Image , joost van der westhuizen ,George h.w bush , sam simon , valerie harper , Kate Granger , Katherine Crowe, wojcech jaruzelski ,Sally Farmiloe , Clive James , Billy Graham , Tony Benn , Zsa Zsa Gabor , Vera lynn , Kirk Douglas , Saif Gaddafi , Superstar Billy Graham ,Stuart Hall , Fats Domino ,Isabel Peron.

Hartlepool Deadlypool 2014

Billy Graham
Wojcech Jaruzelski
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Joost Van Der Westhuizen
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Sally Farmiloe
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Clive James

subs 1) George H.W Bush 2) Rolf Harris

#2665 the_engineer

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Posted 17 April 2012 - 07:11 PM

Britain's got talent and all other singing panel judge dancing ice skating z list celeb shows.

newspapers


The woman at the back of me who lets her dogs s##t in her yard and she just brushes it into the alley way allowing huge piles of it to build up to the point were you open your back door to get some fresh air only to breathe in and think you're in some slum in India.
I don't believe in coincidences

Basketball was invented in 1987 by konami.

A Man who never eats pork buns is never a whole man .

genesis 22 16 - 18

DDP 2014 - Sovereign-Reaper

wilko johnsonPosted Image , joost van der westhuizen ,George h.w bush , sam simon , valerie harper , Kate Granger , Katherine Crowe, wojcech jaruzelski ,Sally Farmiloe , Clive James , Billy Graham , Tony Benn , Zsa Zsa Gabor , Vera lynn , Kirk Douglas , Saif Gaddafi , Superstar Billy Graham ,Stuart Hall , Fats Domino ,Isabel Peron.

Hartlepool Deadlypool 2014

Billy Graham
Wojcech Jaruzelski
Wilko Johnson
Sam Simon
Joost Van Der Westhuizen
Valerie Harper
Kate Granger

Sally Farmiloe
Katherine Crowe
Clive James

subs 1) George H.W Bush 2) Rolf Harris

#2666 Lord Fellatio Nelson

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Posted 17 April 2012 - 07:39 PM

View Postthe_engineer, on 17 April 2012 - 07:11 PM, said:

Britain's got talent and all other singing panel judge dancing ice skating z list celeb shows.

newspapers


The woman at the back of me who lets her dogs s##t in her yard and she just brushes it into the alley way allowing huge piles of it to build up to the point were you open your back door to get some fresh air only to breathe in and think you're in some slum in India.
Just go round there and cut her head off and shit in her neck.
See how she likes that!!!
2014 Hartlepool Deadly Pool Team: The Wankers Arms PH
Candidates:
Olivia De Havilland
Carol Channing
Eli Wallach
Kirk Douglas
Jimmy Hill
Luise Ranier
Abe Vigoda
Paul Gascoigne
Clifton James
Sid Caesar

Subs: Maureen O'Hara and Christopher Lee

#2667 Lard Bazaar

    Bang! And the dirt is gone!

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Posted 17 April 2012 - 07:48 PM

View PostLord Fellatio Nelson, on 17 April 2012 - 07:39 PM, said:

View Postthe_engineer, on 17 April 2012 - 07:11 PM, said:

Britain's got talent and all other singing panel judge dancing ice skating z list celeb shows.

newspapers


The woman at the back of me who lets her dogs s##t in her yard and she just brushes it into the alley way allowing huge piles of it to build up to the point were you open your back door to get some fresh air only to breathe in and think you're in some slum in India.
Just go round there and cut her head off and shit in her neck.
See how she likes that!!!

Fuck me, judging by your picture, you've grown some hair since you last posted on here :P

#2668 Lord Fellatio Nelson

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Posted 17 April 2012 - 07:52 PM

View PostLard Bazaar, on 17 April 2012 - 07:48 PM, said:

View PostLord Fellatio Nelson, on 17 April 2012 - 07:39 PM, said:

View Postthe_engineer, on 17 April 2012 - 07:11 PM, said:

Britain's got talent and all other singing panel judge dancing ice skating z list celeb shows.

newspapers


The woman at the back of me who lets her dogs s##t in her yard and she just brushes it into the alley way allowing huge piles of it to build up to the point were you open your back door to get some fresh air only to breathe in and think you're in some slum in India.
Just go round there and cut her head off and shit in her neck.
See how she likes that!!!

Fuck me, judging by your picture, you've grown some hair since you last posted on here :P
One word Lardy: Regaine
Brilliant stuff and, im sure, would work on balding minges too.
Give it a go. :lol:
2014 Hartlepool Deadly Pool Team: The Wankers Arms PH
Candidates:
Olivia De Havilland
Carol Channing
Eli Wallach
Kirk Douglas
Jimmy Hill
Luise Ranier
Abe Vigoda
Paul Gascoigne
Clifton James
Sid Caesar

Subs: Maureen O'Hara and Christopher Lee

#2669 Lard Bazaar

    Bang! And the dirt is gone!

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Posted 17 April 2012 - 07:57 PM

View PostLord Fellatio Nelson, on 17 April 2012 - 07:52 PM, said:

View PostLard Bazaar, on 17 April 2012 - 07:48 PM, said:

View PostLord Fellatio Nelson, on 17 April 2012 - 07:39 PM, said:

View Postthe_engineer, on 17 April 2012 - 07:11 PM, said:

Britain's got talent and all other singing panel judge dancing ice skating z list celeb shows.

newspapers


The woman at the back of me who lets her dogs s##t in her yard and she just brushes it into the alley way allowing huge piles of it to build up to the point were you open your back door to get some fresh air only to breathe in and think you're in some slum in India.
Just go round there and cut her head off and shit in her neck.
See how she likes that!!!

Fuck me, judging by your picture, you've grown some hair since you last posted on here :P
One word Lardy: Regaine
Brilliant stuff and, im sure, would work on balding minges too.
Give it a go. :lol:

Love to, but due to excess guntage, I haven't been able to tend my lady-garden for some years now. It's like the Amazon fucking Rainforest down there. Dark, damp and full of creepy crawlies :lol:

#2670 Lord Fellatio Nelson

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Posted 17 April 2012 - 10:22 PM

View PostLard Bazaar, on 17 April 2012 - 07:57 PM, said:

View PostLord Fellatio Nelson, on 17 April 2012 - 07:52 PM, said:

View PostLard Bazaar, on 17 April 2012 - 07:48 PM, said:

View PostLord Fellatio Nelson, on 17 April 2012 - 07:39 PM, said:

View Postthe_engineer, on 17 April 2012 - 07:11 PM, said:

Britain's got talent and all other singing panel judge dancing ice skating z list celeb shows.

newspapers


The woman at the back of me who lets her dogs s##t in her yard and she just brushes it into the alley way allowing huge piles of it to build up to the point were you open your back door to get some fresh air only to breathe in and think you're in some slum in India.
Just go round there and cut her head off and shit in her neck.
See how she likes that!!!

Fuck me, judging by your picture, you've grown some hair since you last posted on here :P
One word Lardy: Regaine
Brilliant stuff and, im sure, would work on balding minges too.
Give it a go. :lol:

Love to, but due to excess guntage, I haven't been able to tend my lady-garden for some years now. It's like the Amazon fucking Rainforest down there. Dark, damp and full of creepy crawlies :lol:
Blimey!!
You want to get yourself one of these, Lardy.
Posted Image
It may not eat every creepy crawlie in your rainforest but, wiv a tongue like that, you wont give a shit anyway!! :ninja:
2014 Hartlepool Deadly Pool Team: The Wankers Arms PH
Candidates:
Olivia De Havilland
Carol Channing
Eli Wallach
Kirk Douglas
Jimmy Hill
Luise Ranier
Abe Vigoda
Paul Gascoigne
Clifton James
Sid Caesar

Subs: Maureen O'Hara and Christopher Lee

#2671 the_engineer

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Posted 18 April 2012 - 07:39 AM

View PostLord Fellatio Nelson, on 17 April 2012 - 10:22 PM, said:

View PostLard Bazaar, on 17 April 2012 - 07:57 PM, said:

View PostLord Fellatio Nelson, on 17 April 2012 - 07:52 PM, said:

View PostLard Bazaar, on 17 April 2012 - 07:48 PM, said:

View PostLord Fellatio Nelson, on 17 April 2012 - 07:39 PM, said:

View Postthe_engineer, on 17 April 2012 - 07:11 PM, said:

Britain's got talent and all other singing panel judge dancing ice skating z list celeb shows.

newspapers


The woman at the back of me who lets her dogs s##t in her yard and she just brushes it into the alley way allowing huge piles of it to build up to the point were you open your back door to get some fresh air only to breathe in and think you're in some slum in India.
Just go round there and cut her head off and shit in her neck.
See how she likes that!!!

Fuck me, judging by your picture, you've grown some hair since you last posted on here :P
One word Lardy: Regaine
Brilliant stuff and, im sure, would work on balding minges too.
Give it a go. :lol:

Love to, but due to excess guntage, I haven't been able to tend my lady-garden for some years now. It's like the Amazon fucking Rainforest down there. Dark, damp and full of creepy crawlies :lol:
Blimey!!
You want to get yourself one of these, Lardy.
Posted Image
It may not eat every creepy crawlie in your rainforest but, wiv a tongue like that, you wont give a shit anyway!! :ninja:

I would but she is 6 foot 5 and 18 stone .
I don't believe in coincidences

Basketball was invented in 1987 by konami.

A Man who never eats pork buns is never a whole man .

genesis 22 16 - 18

DDP 2014 - Sovereign-Reaper

wilko johnsonPosted Image , joost van der westhuizen ,George h.w bush , sam simon , valerie harper , Kate Granger , Katherine Crowe, wojcech jaruzelski ,Sally Farmiloe , Clive James , Billy Graham , Tony Benn , Zsa Zsa Gabor , Vera lynn , Kirk Douglas , Saif Gaddafi , Superstar Billy Graham ,Stuart Hall , Fats Domino ,Isabel Peron.

Hartlepool Deadlypool 2014

Billy Graham
Wojcech Jaruzelski
Wilko Johnson
Sam Simon
Joost Van Der Westhuizen
Valerie Harper
Kate Granger

Sally Farmiloe
Katherine Crowe
Clive James

subs 1) George H.W Bush 2) Rolf Harris

#2672 Lord Fellatio Nelson

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Posted 18 April 2012 - 10:42 AM

View Postthe_engineer, on 18 April 2012 - 07:39 AM, said:

View PostLord Fellatio Nelson, on 17 April 2012 - 10:22 PM, said:

View PostLard Bazaar, on 17 April 2012 - 07:57 PM, said:

View PostLord Fellatio Nelson, on 17 April 2012 - 07:52 PM, said:

View PostLard Bazaar, on 17 April 2012 - 07:48 PM, said:

View PostLord Fellatio Nelson, on 17 April 2012 - 07:39 PM, said:

View Postthe_engineer, on 17 April 2012 - 07:11 PM, said:

Britain's got talent and all other singing panel judge dancing ice skating z list celeb shows.

newspapers


The woman at the back of me who lets her dogs s##t in her yard and she just brushes it into the alley way allowing huge piles of it to build up to the point were you open your back door to get some fresh air only to breathe in and think you're in some slum in India.
Just go round there and cut her head off and shit in her neck.
See how she likes that!!!

Fuck me, judging by your picture, you've grown some hair since you last posted on here :P
One word Lardy: Regaine
Brilliant stuff and, im sure, would work on balding minges too.
Give it a go. :lol:

Love to, but due to excess guntage, I haven't been able to tend my lady-garden for some years now. It's like the Amazon fucking Rainforest down there. Dark, damp and full of creepy crawlies :lol:
Blimey!!
You want to get yourself one of these, Lardy.
Posted Image
It may not eat every creepy crawlie in your rainforest but, wiv a tongue like that, you wont give a shit anyway!! :ninja:

I would but she is 6 foot 5 and 18 stone .
Er, I dont suppose you met her in a club down in old Soho where you drink champagne and it tastes just like Cherry cola, C-O-L-A COLA....... :blink:
2014 Hartlepool Deadly Pool Team: The Wankers Arms PH
Candidates:
Olivia De Havilland
Carol Channing
Eli Wallach
Kirk Douglas
Jimmy Hill
Luise Ranier
Abe Vigoda
Paul Gascoigne
Clifton James
Sid Caesar

Subs: Maureen O'Hara and Christopher Lee

#2673 Madame Defarge

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Posted 19 April 2012 - 11:07 PM

^
Monsieur, do you 'ave a license for that minkey?
Think, in this batter'd Caravanserai
Whose Doorways are alternate Night and Day,
How Sultan after Sultan with his Pomp
Abode his Hour or two and went his way.

#2674 Guest_David_*

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Posted 26 April 2012 - 03:23 PM

View PostLord Fellatio Nelson, on 24 January 2010 - 07:57 PM, said:

Those Wii thingys are terribly dangerous. My son bought his over on Christmas day, we played all the usual games.
Im standing there playing against him at Tennis, getting well into it, when Ive gone for a nice backhand which has ended up sweeping a fucking great big glass of Red Wine off the coffee table and up the wall, a la Jackson Bollock.
Every one pissed themselves laughing, I felt a twat and ive had to repaint the wall.
We are still finding bits of glass from the obliterated glass.........

View PostLard Bazaar, on 24 January 2010 - 08:11 PM, said:

View PostLord Fellatio Nelson, on Jan 24 2010, 07:57 PM, said:

Those Wii thingys are terribly dangerous. My son bought his over on Christmas day, we played all the usual games.
Im standing there playing against him at Tennis, getting well into it, when Ive gone for a nice backhand which has ended up sweeping a fucking great big glass of Red Wine off the coffee table and up the wall, a la Jackson Bollock.
Every one pissed themselves laughing, I felt a twat and ive had to repaint the wall.
We are still finding bits of glass from the obliterated glass.........

Why do you think I REALLY got one? It's not for the fitness, it's so I can 'accidently' smack the kids in the mouth three times a week.
They are dangerous. That's right. I've got one, or rather did have, until I nearly broke my leg when I drunkenly tripped over it. I ended up at the hospital getting my ankle X - rayed - sitting in the A & E with a bunch of people who all seemed to have the flu - which I then got. I do agree with Lady Grendel about the people on the bus. I don't use public transport - I use my motorbike. Mind you, the flu should go in Room 101.

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Posted 26 April 2012 - 03:35 PM

View Posttime, on 10 March 2010 - 07:39 PM, said:

View PostLard Bazaar, on Mar 10 2010, 07:27 PM, said:

View PostDavid, on Mar 10 2010, 06:58 PM, said:

View PostLady Grendel, on Oct 7 2009, 08:36 PM, said:

Spending the day shivering in your office because the heating has packed in just when you're coming down with flu, no doubt it'll be worse tomorrow when the sneezing really kicks in :sicktherm:.
Believe me, if you have got the flu, you shouldn't be at work. Half the porters on our ward have got it because one of us - (no, not me) came to work when she had the flu. It shot round the ward.


Wise words Dave.


...even if 5 months too late!
Lady Grendel, you sound like just the type I'd have as a girlfriend - if I didn't already have one. I'm sorry if my quote about avoiding the flu was a bit late - my comp had bust. If you feel at all ill, you should immediately stay off work. Pardon me, but are you a lawyer or a solicitor? At the hospital I work at the bosses are very understanding if we get sick - if one of us so much as sneezes the Sister lets us stay off. Unfortunately that hasn't always been heeded - one of the nurses had the norovirus and she came to work - but we were lucky - none of the patients got it. Is your boss compassionate when one of you gets sick? A cough, a sniffle, a sneeze or even a blow of the nose gets us sent home on suspicion of a cold.

#2676 Lord Fellatio Nelson

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Posted 26 April 2012 - 06:51 PM

View PostDavid, on 26 April 2012 - 03:35 PM, said:

View Posttime, on 10 March 2010 - 07:39 PM, said:

View PostLard Bazaar, on Mar 10 2010, 07:27 PM, said:

View PostDavid, on Mar 10 2010, 06:58 PM, said:

View PostLady Grendel, on Oct 7 2009, 08:36 PM, said:

Spending the day shivering in your office because the heating has packed in just when you're coming down with flu, no doubt it'll be worse tomorrow when the sneezing really kicks in :sicktherm:.
Believe me, if you have got the flu, you shouldn't be at work. Half the porters on our ward have got it because one of us - (no, not me) came to work when she had the flu. It shot round the ward.


Wise words Dave.


...even if 5 months too late!
Lady Grendel, you sound like just the type I'd have as a girlfriend - if I didn't already have one. I'm sorry if my quote about avoiding the flu was a bit late - my comp had bust. If you feel at all ill, you should immediately stay off work. Pardon me, but are you a lawyer or a solicitor? At the hospital I work at the bosses are very understanding if we get sick - if one of us so much as sneezes the Sister lets us stay off. Unfortunately that hasn't always been heeded - one of the nurses had the norovirus and she came to work - but we were lucky - none of the patients got it. Is your boss compassionate when one of you gets sick? A cough, a sniffle, a sneeze or even a blow of the nose gets us sent home on suspicion of a cold.
Responding to two year old posts makes you a Grade A Bell End.
Congratulations.
2014 Hartlepool Deadly Pool Team: The Wankers Arms PH
Candidates:
Olivia De Havilland
Carol Channing
Eli Wallach
Kirk Douglas
Jimmy Hill
Luise Ranier
Abe Vigoda
Paul Gascoigne
Clifton James
Sid Caesar

Subs: Maureen O'Hara and Christopher Lee

#2677 Lard Bazaar

    Bang! And the dirt is gone!

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Posted 26 April 2012 - 07:36 PM

View PostLord Fellatio Nelson, on 26 April 2012 - 06:51 PM, said:

View PostDavid, on 26 April 2012 - 03:35 PM, said:

View Posttime, on 10 March 2010 - 07:39 PM, said:

View PostLard Bazaar, on Mar 10 2010, 07:27 PM, said:

View PostDavid, on Mar 10 2010, 06:58 PM, said:

View PostLady Grendel, on Oct 7 2009, 08:36 PM, said:

Spending the day shivering in your office because the heating has packed in just when you're coming down with flu, no doubt it'll be worse tomorrow when the sneezing really kicks in :sicktherm:.
Believe me, if you have got the flu, you shouldn't be at work. Half the porters on our ward have got it because one of us - (no, not me) came to work when she had the flu. It shot round the ward.


Wise words Dave.


...even if 5 months too late!
Lady Grendel, you sound like just the type I'd have as a girlfriend - if I didn't already have one. I'm sorry if my quote about avoiding the flu was a bit late - my comp had bust. If you feel at all ill, you should immediately stay off work. Pardon me, but are you a lawyer or a solicitor? At the hospital I work at the bosses are very understanding if we get sick - if one of us so much as sneezes the Sister lets us stay off. Unfortunately that hasn't always been heeded - one of the nurses had the norovirus and she came to work - but we were lucky - none of the patients got it. Is your boss compassionate when one of you gets sick? A cough, a sniffle, a sneeze or even a blow of the nose gets us sent home on suspicion of a cold.
Responding to two year old posts makes you a Grade A Bell End.
Congratulations.

Au contraire - someone that can remember years down the line which days his computer was bust has a real talent. I bet he can also remember details of every wank he's ever had, whether he used Kleenex, a sock, a T shirt or the curtains, and whether he was thinking about his mummy or Deirdre Barlow at the time. He's like fucking Rain Man.

#2678 Lard Bazaar

    Bang! And the dirt is gone!

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Posted 19 May 2012 - 06:03 PM

Getting fucking old.

My smallest child turned 15 today. My delightful boyfriend pointed out 'just think, that means next year she'll be 16, Eldest will be 20 and you'll be 40'. Yeh. Thanks for that. How about fucking the fuck off?

On the plus side, she does think I'm a living legend as for her birthday I managed to secure her tickets to see those musical genii One Direction. She nearly pissed my bed when she opened her card.

#2679 the_engineer

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Posted 19 May 2012 - 11:33 PM

View PostLard Bazaar, on 19 May 2012 - 06:03 PM, said:

Getting fucking old.

My smallest child turned 15 today. My delightful boyfriend pointed out 'just think, that means next year she'll be 16, Eldest will be 20 and you'll be 40'. Yeh. Thanks for that. How about fucking the fuck off?

On the plus side, she does think I'm a living legend as for her birthday I managed to secure her tickets to see those musical genii One Direction. She nearly pissed my bed when she opened her card.

aww i can't wait to become a dad one day , they say its one of the few things in life that actually live up and surpass the hype .
I don't believe in coincidences

Basketball was invented in 1987 by konami.

A Man who never eats pork buns is never a whole man .

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#2680 Lard Bazaar

    Bang! And the dirt is gone!

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Posted 20 May 2012 - 02:25 PM

View Postthe_engineer, on 19 May 2012 - 11:33 PM, said:

View PostLard Bazaar, on 19 May 2012 - 06:03 PM, said:

Getting fucking old.

My smallest child turned 15 today. My delightful boyfriend pointed out 'just think, that means next year she'll be 16, Eldest will be 20 and you'll be 40'. Yeh. Thanks for that. How about fucking the fuck off?

On the plus side, she does think I'm a living legend as for her birthday I managed to secure her tickets to see those musical genii One Direction. She nearly pissed my bed when she opened her card.

aww i can't wait to become a dad one day , they say its one of the few things in life that actually live up and surpass the hype .

At the risk of sounding totally cheesemongous, being a parent means that you will, throughout your life, experience every single emotion there is to experience. Kids make you laugh and cry, they make you shout, they make you worry, they make you feel the strongest love you ever felt, they make you tired, they make you skint, they make you think that you are going completely fucking mental, they make you wonder why you ever bothered, and then they make you wonder why you don't have 'just one more'......and then you very quickly forget about that idea because you remember that you actually like sleeping and not being covered in vomit and poo.

But the look on their little faces when you've got them One Direction tickets makes your heart swell. And then you remember that you've got to sit outside the NEC for five hours while they're in there screaming like total lunatics, and then have a two hour drive back home with two teenage girls who will smell of urine, and whose only vocabulary will be 'OMG, WHATEVER, LOL, LIKE, TOTES AMAZEBALLS'.

I recommend it :)




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