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Adverts - you either love 'em or hate 'em 8 out of 10 DL'ers agree


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#1 Lord Fellatio Nelson

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Posted 02 August 2008 - 07:35 PM

Has anybody seen that Advert where the two little girls walk into the lounge and proclaim that "Dad, its time" or something as they produce a box of hair dye ( think grecian 2000).
What kind of a crock of sh*t is that?
Dad is single/widowed/divorced.
Dad isnt in a relationship
Dad hasnt had his leg over.
Dad is a sad twat.
Daughters decide that, to remedy the above, he needs to get rid of his grey hairs.
Viola!! Dad gets a bird, daughters ( sitting in a single Armchair ) do the old "Palm to Palm" hand slap. Result!!
I need not tell you that this advert is American, I certainly dont wish to appear anti American, we have some valued cousins on this forum, however, I dont think anybody could have made this advert outside of the States.
Perhaps, to redress the balance, somebody would care to hold up some more British examples of inane, God awful, toe curling advertising.
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#2 Handrejka

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Posted 02 August 2008 - 07:52 PM

The Specsavers one using Edith Piaf was abysmal. I actually complained about that one officially which is something I have done before. I don't watch much TV so I can't think of any others but I'm sure some will spring to mind
Alternative 50 in no particular order (13/50)
1.Nelson Mandela 2.Margaret Thatcher 3. Jeremy Thorpe 4. Bill Pertwee 5. John Freeman 6.Guenther Grass 7. Oswald Morris 8. Glynis Johns 9. Zizi Jeanmaire 10. April Ashley
11. Allan Arbus 12. Siegfried Lenz 13. Helmut Kohl 14.Walter Scheel 15.Hywel Bennet 16.Clive James 17. Tamara Press 18.Dave Swarbrick 19. Gretel Bergmann 20. Paul Danquah
21. Fenella Fielding 22. Peter Sallis 23. Dannie Abse 24.Ronnie Biggs 25. Jovanka Broz 26. Bernie Nolan 27. Ron Moody 28. Vivian Pickles 29. Dave Davies 30. Nexhmije Hoxha
31. Doris Lessing 32. Henry Morgenthaler 33. Al Molinaro 34.Gil Taylor 35. Denis Healey 36. Gabriel Garcia Marquez 37. George Blake 38. Brian Cant 39. Fidel Castro 40. Kirk Douglas
41. Aretha Franklin 42. Annette Funicello 43.Bob Godfrey 44. Rev Billy Graham 45.Wojiech Jaruzelski 46.Irving Kanarek 47.Hiroo Onoda 48. Reg Pressley 49. Ariel Sharon 50. Duncan Norvelle.

2014 Alternative 50 in no order (10/50)
1. Jeremy Thorpe 2. Rev Billy Graham 3. Wojiech Jaruzelski 4. Stephen Hawking 5. Ron Moody 6. Jimmy Hill 7. Dora Bryan 8. John Freeman 9. Clive James 10. Fidel Castro
11. Gene Reynolds 12. Stuart Hall 13. Guenther Grass 14. Kirk Douglas 15. Oswald Morris 16. George Blake 17. Valerie Harper 18. Peter Sallis 19.Sugar Pie deSanto 20. Dannie Abse
21. Brian Cant 22. Siegfried Lenz 23.Tim O'Connor 24. Tamara Press 25. Ariel Sharon 26. Jacques Rivette 27. Fenella Fielding 28.James Alexander Gordon 29. John Noakes
30. Klaus Rainer Rohl 31. Helmut Kohl 32. Nexhmije Hoxha 33 Richard Kiel 34 Walter Scheel 35. Hywel Bennett 36. Lynne Reid Banks 37. Gretel Bergman 38.Irving Kanarek
39. John Stride 40Hiroo Onodo 41. Christopher Wenner 42. Clare Torry 43. William Barrington- Coupe 44. Keith Michell. 45 Johnny Hallyday 45. Yvonne Furneaux 47. Jean Alexander
48. Casey Kasem 49. Michael Schumacher 50. Marcia Barrett

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#3 Banshees Scream

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Posted 04 August 2008 - 05:50 AM

I've seen that commercial once or twice. It might have something to do with the fact that realization is not always voluntary.
I considered a career in the advertizing business once. The vision of becoming a human sloganizer was food for thought.
I've always enjoyed the crazy-creative nature some commercials bring into your world. But I can see more future in the atmosphere of film.

#4 Cowboy Ronnie

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Posted 04 August 2008 - 10:31 AM

View PostLord Fellatio Nelson, on Aug 2 2008, 08:35 PM, said:

Perhaps, to redress the balance, somebody would care to hold up some more British examples of inane, God awful, toe curling advertising.

The Halifax ad with the Asian guy singing "I'm in to something good". Completely disingenuous - where in Britain is there a beach like? It has white sand, the sun is shining, the water is blue, and the people are not disgustingly fat and pale/sunburned, none of which can you find on an English beach.

#5 Paul Bearer

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Posted 04 August 2008 - 05:45 PM

View PostCowboy Ronnie, on Aug 4 2008, 11:31 AM, said:

View PostLord Fellatio Nelson, on Aug 2 2008, 08:35 PM, said:

Perhaps, to redress the balance, somebody would care to hold up some more British examples of inane, God awful, toe curling advertising.

The Halifax ad with the Asian guy singing "I'm in to something good". Completely disingenuous - where in Britain is there a beach like? It has white sand, the sun is shining, the water is blue, and the people are not disgustingly fat and pale/sunburned, none of which can you find on an English beach.

Rhyl beach :skill2:
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I would not fail in pleasing you.

#6 Phantom

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Posted 04 August 2008 - 05:57 PM

The ones that irritate me are the Viagra commercials. Especially when they sing "Viva Viagra" obviously to the tune of "Viva Las Vegas"

#7 Lord Fellatio Nelson

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Posted 04 August 2008 - 06:39 PM

View PostPhantom, on Aug 4 2008, 06:57 PM, said:

The ones that irritate me are the Viagra commercials. Especially when they sing "Viva Viagra" obviously to the tune of "Viva Las Vegas"
What?
Ive not seen any of those Ads here.
Pity.
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#8 Grim Reaper

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Posted 05 August 2008 - 08:34 PM

View PostCowboy Ronnie, on Aug 4 2008, 11:31 AM, said:

View PostLord Fellatio Nelson, on Aug 2 2008, 08:35 PM, said:

Perhaps, to redress the balance, somebody would care to hold up some more British examples of inane, God awful, toe curling advertising.

The Halifax ad with the Asian guy singing "I'm in to something good". Completely disingenuous - where in Britain is there a beach like? It has white sand, the sun is shining, the water is blue, and the people are not disgustingly fat and pale/sunburned, none of which can you find on an English beach.

And it's not like the guy can have afforded a nice foreign holiday - any spare cash he had would have burned in the HBOS rights issue...

#9 Stayin Alive

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Posted 17 August 2008 - 08:20 PM

I wonder what the package is for that job, like I wonder if the job was posted on the internal jobs intranet at Halifax. I'm pretty sure I remember reading that the first star banker - Howard - did all the ads for his original salary - Halifax displaying a very astute business acumen, removing the need to pay for 'talent' in the process. He ran for long enough for British overdraft fees to pay for the campaign in anycase. Let's hope Howard and the new guy manage to get a bit Xtra than their salaries for all their efforts.

Staying with the banking theme for a second longer, surely nothing can ever top the Natwest advert, where we were all reliably informed by a intern that an automated teller machine is just like a photocopier but the paper is more expensive.

Taxi, tell Charles I'm on my way...

#10 Monoclinic

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Posted 17 August 2008 - 08:39 PM

View PostStayin Alive, on Aug 17 2008, 10:20 PM, said:

I wonder what the package is for that job, like I wonder if the job was posted on the internal jobs intranet at Halifax. I'm pretty sure I remember reading that the first star banker - Howard - did all the ads for his original salary - Halifax displaying a very astute business acumen, removing the need to pay for 'talent' in the process. He ran for long enough for British overdraft fees to pay for the campaign in anycase. Let's hope Howard and the new guy manage to get a bit Xtra than their salaries for all their efforts.

Staying with the banking theme for a second longer, surely nothing can ever top the Natwest advert, where we were all reliably informed by a intern that an automated teller machine is just like a photocopier but the paper is more expensive.

Taxi, tell Charles I'm on my way...


I think that one's a bit before my time. However we did use to pass notes around class with some crap jibe which was swiftly followed by "you should have gone to B&Q". Oh the hilarity.[/sarcastic voice]

#11 Phantom

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Posted 18 August 2008 - 05:38 PM

One of my favourite commercials was the one for Ask.co.uk or "Ask Jeeves" as it was known when it started.
It was the one where the mother takes the kid out for the day as dad is putting in a new carpet, mother and kid returns home to see a lump under the carpet which is obviously the family puppy, the dad just looks at them both and says "Don't Ask" ;)

The ones I can't abide here are the ones they drag out every so often for Arbys with the twat of a guy who has to go through every permutation before he realises that he can order 5 items from the menu for $5 and then just orders 5 portions of curly fries.

#12 CarolAnn

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Posted 19 August 2008 - 02:25 AM

View PostPhantom, on Aug 18 2008, 12:38 PM, said:

The ones I can't abide here are the ones they drag out every so often for Arbys with the twat of a guy who has to go through every permutation before he realises that he can order 5 items from the menu for $5 and then just orders 5 portions of curly fries.

I have to force down the urge to shoot the TV when that one is on. Here it is if anyone is into masochism.

Here in the south it's the Sonic commercials. They have "actors" ad lib them It shows.
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#13 honez

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Posted 19 August 2008 - 04:49 AM

Sorry to go off topic here, but the Four 'n' Twenty Pies Magic Salad Plate ad has to be the best I've seen in a while.
I want one...
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#14 Canadian Paul

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Posted 19 August 2008 - 03:51 PM

Rather than resurrect the year-old Ray Bradbury thread, perhaps this advert may give us a clue to his resilience.
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#15 Pretty In Pink

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Posted 20 August 2008 - 12:41 PM

Cillit Bang

#16 Paul Bearer

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Posted 02 September 2008 - 01:14 PM

View PostPretty In Pink, on Aug 20 2008, 01:41 PM, said:



What?
This is true my form is something odd,
But blaming me is blaming God;
Could I create myself anew
I would not fail in pleasing you.

#17 Pretty In Pink

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Posted 03 September 2008 - 08:55 AM

View Postheaven can wait, on Sep 2 2008, 02:14 PM, said:

View PostPretty In Pink, on Aug 20 2008, 01:41 PM, said:



What?

I'd like to know what wouid happen to Barrys finger if it was dipped into the cillit bang along with the penny and did the kids really create those tidemarks in the bath or were they actually washing the dog?

#18 Terminator

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Posted 08 September 2008 - 01:30 AM

I hate this last year's chewing gum adverts aimed at the lowest "human" denominator, just to jump on some "street cool" bandwagon. (eg, mastication for the nation, etc)

It's interesting that the companies have targeted "street yoots" as their key audience for advertising. Of all the people in the country, they are - by far - the least likely to dispose of their gum responsibly and simply spit it out onto the street - generally provocatively.

Oi, Gordon Brown (I know you are a keen browser). why not surcharge gum companies to recompense the cost of removing the residue from the streets? Isn't simply chewing on the street an arrestable offence in Malaysia?

Any problems with resistence. simply empower your traffic warden stooges to shoot on sight.

Sorted!
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#19 Anubis the Jackal

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Posted 08 September 2008 - 08:45 AM

A guy near me paints on the globs of discarded chewing gum. He was threatened with prosecution once as I recall.

Here's a link for arty types.

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#20 Lord Fellatio Nelson

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Posted 08 September 2008 - 11:19 PM

Was it the same chap that was going round putting little flags on dog turds?
Maybe it was Damian Hirst.
2014 Hartlepool Deadly Pool Team: The Wankers Arms PH
Candidates:
Olivia De Havilland
Carol Channing
Eli Wallach
Kirk Douglas
Jimmy Hill
Luise Ranier
Abe Vigoda
Paul Gascoigne
Clifton James
Sid Caesar

Subs: Maureen O'Hara and Christopher Lee




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