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Stupid/funny/cool/outrageous/scary/weird/crazy Stuff You Read/saw In The News/on The Internet All-purpose news-type discussion thread


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#1 Dr. Zorders

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Posted 22 January 2014 - 11:20 PM

I've been pondering starting this thread for a little while because I got sick of the "Things To Do While Waiting For Death" thread, and how everything has to be parsed into a supposedly cute/funny sentence that fits in with the concept of the thread.

Like, if I was posting this news story which I just saw, in that thread, I would have to say...

"Pretend it's the 1950s".

And that's getting kind of lame so I decided to make this all-purpose thread for every time you want to share something you saw on the internet/in a newspaper.

Saw this in the Daily Mail (where else?).

http://www.dailymail...-community.html

Posted Image

What does everyone think? I have to admit I wouldn't mind tasting a bit of the American 1950s life (especially the girls) but it must get weird after a while.
Dr. Zorders' 2014 shadow list (8/50)

(numbers 1.-20. = my DDP entry "Dead and Deader")
1. Ian McNeice 2. Posted ImageJeremy Clarkson 3. Sam Simon 4. Ian Paisley 5. Olly Croft 6. John Spencer-Churchill 7. Mills Lane 8. Robert M. Pirsig 9. Ariel Sharon 10. Bernard Hepton 11. Muhammad Ali 12. Tony Benn 13. Geoffrey Howe 14. James Garner 15. John B. Anderson 16. Ian Kennedy Martin 17. Pete Doherty 18. Paul Fox 19. Kim Jong-Un 20. Fidel Castro 21. Charles Manson 22. Joe McGinniss 23. Henry Kissinger 24. David Rockefeller 25. Theodore Kaczynski 26. Chuck Berry 27. Jackie Stallone 28. Valéry Giscard d'Estaing 29. O.J. Simpson 30. George Soros 31. James "Whitey" Bulger 32. Lauren Bacall 33. G. Gordon Liddy 34. Kirk Kerkorian 35. Olivia de Havilland 36. Clifton James 37. David Dinkins 38. Simon Cowell 39. Rev. Billy Graham 40. "Mad" Frankie Fraser 41. Denis Norden 42. John Glenn 43. Richard Ingrams 44. Reinhard Hardegen 45. Vic Seixas 46. Jack Brabham 47. Bernard Ecclestone 48. James Lovelock 49. Robert Mugabe 50. Prince Philip

#2 stonecold

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Posted 23 January 2014 - 06:37 AM

There really are some knobs out there. However having some strange calling to the 50s is nothing to the loon who celebrates Christmas everyday (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1088872/Man-celebrates-Christmas-day-scaling-celebrations-credit-crunch.html). Perhaps we should just have a looney thread :)
Life's a bit of shit, when you look at it but death's the final word or so they say....

2014 Shadow List (8/50):
Joss Ackland, Charles Aznavor, Lauren Bacall, Tom Baker, Tony Bennett, Chuck Berry, Barbara Bush, George Bush Snr, Fidel Castro, Carol Channing, Sean Connery, Oliva de Havilland, Bob Dole, Fats Domino, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Billy Graham, Valerie Harper, Stephen Hawking, Richard Herd, Hal Holbrook, John Horsley, Clifton James, Clive James, Freddie Jones, BB King, Henry Kissinger, Burt Kwouk, Christopher Lee, Stan Lee, Stephen Lewis, Vera Lynn, Bill Maynard, Patrick Macnee, Denis Norden, Kim Novak, Maureen O'Hara, Prince Philip, Leslie Phillips, Nancy Reagan, Carl Reiner, Burt Reynolds, Mickey Rooney, Peter Salis, William Shatner, Elaine Stritch, Shirley Temple, Eli Wallach, Gough Whitlam, Chuck Yeager, Efram Zimbalist Jnr

#3 Dr. Zorders

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Posted 23 January 2014 - 06:47 AM

View Poststonecold, on 23 January 2014 - 06:37 AM, said:

There really are some knobs out there. However having some strange calling to the 50s is nothing to the loon who celebrates Christmas everyday (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1088872/Man-celebrates-Christmas-day-scaling-celebrations-credit-crunch.html). Perhaps we should just have a looney thread :)

Sad to see Dom Joly reduced to such lame gimmicks just to get himself in the papers.
Dr. Zorders' 2014 shadow list (8/50)

(numbers 1.-20. = my DDP entry "Dead and Deader")
1. Ian McNeice 2. Posted ImageJeremy Clarkson 3. Sam Simon 4. Ian Paisley 5. Olly Croft 6. John Spencer-Churchill 7. Mills Lane 8. Robert M. Pirsig 9. Ariel Sharon 10. Bernard Hepton 11. Muhammad Ali 12. Tony Benn 13. Geoffrey Howe 14. James Garner 15. John B. Anderson 16. Ian Kennedy Martin 17. Pete Doherty 18. Paul Fox 19. Kim Jong-Un 20. Fidel Castro 21. Charles Manson 22. Joe McGinniss 23. Henry Kissinger 24. David Rockefeller 25. Theodore Kaczynski 26. Chuck Berry 27. Jackie Stallone 28. Valéry Giscard d'Estaing 29. O.J. Simpson 30. George Soros 31. James "Whitey" Bulger 32. Lauren Bacall 33. G. Gordon Liddy 34. Kirk Kerkorian 35. Olivia de Havilland 36. Clifton James 37. David Dinkins 38. Simon Cowell 39. Rev. Billy Graham 40. "Mad" Frankie Fraser 41. Denis Norden 42. John Glenn 43. Richard Ingrams 44. Reinhard Hardegen 45. Vic Seixas 46. Jack Brabham 47. Bernard Ecclestone 48. James Lovelock 49. Robert Mugabe 50. Prince Philip

#4 Lard Bazaar

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Posted 23 January 2014 - 08:03 AM

View PostDr. Zorders, on 23 January 2014 - 06:47 AM, said:

View Poststonecold, on 23 January 2014 - 06:37 AM, said:

There really are some knobs out there. However having some strange calling to the 50s is nothing to the loon who celebrates Christmas everyday (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1088872/Man-celebrates-Christmas-day-scaling-celebrations-credit-crunch.html). Perhaps we should just have a looney thread :)

Sad to see Dom Joly reduced to such lame gimmicks just to get himself in the papers.

This so called Mr Christmas lives in the town next to me, and not only is he a cock, but, according to many of his neighbours and local townsfolk, he's an absolute fucking bullshitter as well, and has been trading off the back of this farce for many years. Mr Christmas, my arse - Mr Fucking Twat more like.

#5 Dr. Zorders

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Posted 23 January 2014 - 07:16 PM

View PostLard Bazaar, on 23 January 2014 - 08:03 AM, said:

View PostDr. Zorders, on 23 January 2014 - 06:47 AM, said:

View Poststonecold, on 23 January 2014 - 06:37 AM, said:

There really are some knobs out there. However having some strange calling to the 50s is nothing to the loon who celebrates Christmas everyday (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1088872/Man-celebrates-Christmas-day-scaling-celebrations-credit-crunch.html). Perhaps we should just have a looney thread :)

Sad to see Dom Joly reduced to such lame gimmicks just to get himself in the papers.

This so called Mr Christmas lives in the town next to me, and not only is he a cock, but, according to many of his neighbours and local townsfolk, he's an absolute fucking bullshitter as well, and has been trading off the back of this farce for many years. Mr Christmas, my arse - Mr Fucking Twat more like.

Bad things happen when you take the lyrics from 1970s hits too seriously. That's how my uncle ended up in jail for buggering a swan.
Dr. Zorders' 2014 shadow list (8/50)

(numbers 1.-20. = my DDP entry "Dead and Deader")
1. Ian McNeice 2. Posted ImageJeremy Clarkson 3. Sam Simon 4. Ian Paisley 5. Olly Croft 6. John Spencer-Churchill 7. Mills Lane 8. Robert M. Pirsig 9. Ariel Sharon 10. Bernard Hepton 11. Muhammad Ali 12. Tony Benn 13. Geoffrey Howe 14. James Garner 15. John B. Anderson 16. Ian Kennedy Martin 17. Pete Doherty 18. Paul Fox 19. Kim Jong-Un 20. Fidel Castro 21. Charles Manson 22. Joe McGinniss 23. Henry Kissinger 24. David Rockefeller 25. Theodore Kaczynski 26. Chuck Berry 27. Jackie Stallone 28. Valéry Giscard d'Estaing 29. O.J. Simpson 30. George Soros 31. James "Whitey" Bulger 32. Lauren Bacall 33. G. Gordon Liddy 34. Kirk Kerkorian 35. Olivia de Havilland 36. Clifton James 37. David Dinkins 38. Simon Cowell 39. Rev. Billy Graham 40. "Mad" Frankie Fraser 41. Denis Norden 42. John Glenn 43. Richard Ingrams 44. Reinhard Hardegen 45. Vic Seixas 46. Jack Brabham 47. Bernard Ecclestone 48. James Lovelock 49. Robert Mugabe 50. Prince Philip

#6 charon

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Posted 23 January 2014 - 07:41 PM

On my main footie forum there is a 'random shite' thread much like this and yesterday someone posted a 10 sec gif of a girl kneeling in a wooden box (I thought it was a magicians trick at this point), then gets covered in concrete and when set in a block, starts the porn shoot.

Posted Image


The next post was a map of the World, coloured in by a countries principle sport.
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

#7 Dr. Zorders

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Posted 23 January 2014 - 07:54 PM

Would have been funnier if he'd shot the burning computer a couple of times first.
Dr. Zorders' 2014 shadow list (8/50)

(numbers 1.-20. = my DDP entry "Dead and Deader")
1. Ian McNeice 2. Posted ImageJeremy Clarkson 3. Sam Simon 4. Ian Paisley 5. Olly Croft 6. John Spencer-Churchill 7. Mills Lane 8. Robert M. Pirsig 9. Ariel Sharon 10. Bernard Hepton 11. Muhammad Ali 12. Tony Benn 13. Geoffrey Howe 14. James Garner 15. John B. Anderson 16. Ian Kennedy Martin 17. Pete Doherty 18. Paul Fox 19. Kim Jong-Un 20. Fidel Castro 21. Charles Manson 22. Joe McGinniss 23. Henry Kissinger 24. David Rockefeller 25. Theodore Kaczynski 26. Chuck Berry 27. Jackie Stallone 28. Valéry Giscard d'Estaing 29. O.J. Simpson 30. George Soros 31. James "Whitey" Bulger 32. Lauren Bacall 33. G. Gordon Liddy 34. Kirk Kerkorian 35. Olivia de Havilland 36. Clifton James 37. David Dinkins 38. Simon Cowell 39. Rev. Billy Graham 40. "Mad" Frankie Fraser 41. Denis Norden 42. John Glenn 43. Richard Ingrams 44. Reinhard Hardegen 45. Vic Seixas 46. Jack Brabham 47. Bernard Ecclestone 48. James Lovelock 49. Robert Mugabe 50. Prince Philip

#8 charon

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Posted 23 January 2014 - 07:59 PM

View PostDr. Zorders, on 23 January 2014 - 07:54 PM, said:

Would have been funnier if he'd shot the burning computer a couple of times first.

That would be more like Mr McAfee


And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

#9 Dr. Zorders

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Posted 24 January 2014 - 06:59 PM

The latest bullshit "apocalypse"/horror movie-type scare story, which I'm sure many of you will have seen already, is a drifting, abandoned Russian ship full of "diseased cannibal rats", that "may" be heading towards the UK.

http://uk.news.yahoo...-132016334.html

Unless these rats know how to lower a lifeboat and row it to shore, I don't think we've got too much to worry about.....
Dr. Zorders' 2014 shadow list (8/50)

(numbers 1.-20. = my DDP entry "Dead and Deader")
1. Ian McNeice 2. Posted ImageJeremy Clarkson 3. Sam Simon 4. Ian Paisley 5. Olly Croft 6. John Spencer-Churchill 7. Mills Lane 8. Robert M. Pirsig 9. Ariel Sharon 10. Bernard Hepton 11. Muhammad Ali 12. Tony Benn 13. Geoffrey Howe 14. James Garner 15. John B. Anderson 16. Ian Kennedy Martin 17. Pete Doherty 18. Paul Fox 19. Kim Jong-Un 20. Fidel Castro 21. Charles Manson 22. Joe McGinniss 23. Henry Kissinger 24. David Rockefeller 25. Theodore Kaczynski 26. Chuck Berry 27. Jackie Stallone 28. Valéry Giscard d'Estaing 29. O.J. Simpson 30. George Soros 31. James "Whitey" Bulger 32. Lauren Bacall 33. G. Gordon Liddy 34. Kirk Kerkorian 35. Olivia de Havilland 36. Clifton James 37. David Dinkins 38. Simon Cowell 39. Rev. Billy Graham 40. "Mad" Frankie Fraser 41. Denis Norden 42. John Glenn 43. Richard Ingrams 44. Reinhard Hardegen 45. Vic Seixas 46. Jack Brabham 47. Bernard Ecclestone 48. James Lovelock 49. Robert Mugabe 50. Prince Philip

#10 charon

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Posted 24 January 2014 - 07:33 PM

View PostDr. Zorders, on 24 January 2014 - 06:59 PM, said:

The latest bullshit "apocalypse"/horror movie-type scare story, which I'm sure many of you will have seen already, is a drifting, abandoned Russian ship full of "diseased cannibal rats", that "may" be heading towards the UK.

http://uk.news.yahoo...-132016334.html

Unless these rats know how to lower a lifeboat and row it to shore, I don't think we've got too much to worry about.....


If ''cannibal'' there would be none left after a while or am I missing something?
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

#11 Dr. Zorders

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Posted 24 January 2014 - 07:41 PM

View Postcharon, on 24 January 2014 - 07:33 PM, said:

View PostDr. Zorders, on 24 January 2014 - 06:59 PM, said:

The latest bullshit "apocalypse"/horror movie-type scare story, which I'm sure many of you will have seen already, is a drifting, abandoned Russian ship full of "diseased cannibal rats", that "may" be heading towards the UK.

http://uk.news.yahoo...-132016334.html

Unless these rats know how to lower a lifeboat and row it to shore, I don't think we've got too much to worry about.....


If ''cannibal'' there would be none left after a while or am I missing something?

Yeah, you'd think so, although the phrase "breeding like rats" might have some relevance here, I'm not sure.

Maybe the little blighters have set aside some separate rooms on the ship which are designated "shagging only, no eating". Just to keep the numbers up and keep the party going!
Dr. Zorders' 2014 shadow list (8/50)

(numbers 1.-20. = my DDP entry "Dead and Deader")
1. Ian McNeice 2. Posted ImageJeremy Clarkson 3. Sam Simon 4. Ian Paisley 5. Olly Croft 6. John Spencer-Churchill 7. Mills Lane 8. Robert M. Pirsig 9. Ariel Sharon 10. Bernard Hepton 11. Muhammad Ali 12. Tony Benn 13. Geoffrey Howe 14. James Garner 15. John B. Anderson 16. Ian Kennedy Martin 17. Pete Doherty 18. Paul Fox 19. Kim Jong-Un 20. Fidel Castro 21. Charles Manson 22. Joe McGinniss 23. Henry Kissinger 24. David Rockefeller 25. Theodore Kaczynski 26. Chuck Berry 27. Jackie Stallone 28. Valéry Giscard d'Estaing 29. O.J. Simpson 30. George Soros 31. James "Whitey" Bulger 32. Lauren Bacall 33. G. Gordon Liddy 34. Kirk Kerkorian 35. Olivia de Havilland 36. Clifton James 37. David Dinkins 38. Simon Cowell 39. Rev. Billy Graham 40. "Mad" Frankie Fraser 41. Denis Norden 42. John Glenn 43. Richard Ingrams 44. Reinhard Hardegen 45. Vic Seixas 46. Jack Brabham 47. Bernard Ecclestone 48. James Lovelock 49. Robert Mugabe 50. Prince Philip

#12 charon

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Posted 24 January 2014 - 07:57 PM

I had the misfortune to be @ 12 when The Rats, Lair etc came out, and cut about on a few relatives farms a lot.

I hate the fuckers. Big time.

Might be my only ''real'' phobia.
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

#13 Paul Bearer

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Posted 24 January 2014 - 08:02 PM

I like rats. Used to keep them as pets. They're more intelligent than some people I know.
This is true my form is something odd,
But blaming me is blaming God;
Could I create myself anew
I would not fail in pleasing you.

#14 Magere Hein

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Posted 24 January 2014 - 09:35 PM

View Postcharon, on 24 January 2014 - 07:33 PM, said:

View PostDr. Zorders, on 24 January 2014 - 06:59 PM, said:

The latest bullshit "apocalypse"/horror movie-type scare story, which I'm sure many of you will have seen already, is a drifting, abandoned Russian ship full of "diseased cannibal rats", that "may" be heading towards the UK.

http://uk.news.yahoo...-132016334.html
Unless these rats know how to lower a lifeboat and row it to shore, I don't think we've got too much to worry about.....
If ''cannibal'' there would be one left after a while or am I missing something?

FTFY.

regards,
Hein
DDP 2014 team The Grey Horde:
King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia, Ayman al-Zawahiri, Lys Assia, Sister Wendy Beckett, Ryan Buell Posted Image,Jacques Chirac, Felix Dennis, Aretha Franklin, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Marilyn Horne, Clive James, General Wojciech Jaruzelski, Wilko Johnson, Helmut Kohl, Joseph Kony, Misao Okawa, Bernie Madoff, Robert Mugabe, Julie Newmar, Michael Schumacher

DDP 2014 theme team Minions of Xuleneb:
King Albert II, Princess Beatrix, Prince Bernhard jr, Elco Brinkman, Corry Brokken, Dick Bruna, Raymond Ceulemans, Godfried Danneels, Piet de Jong, Mark Eyskens, Queen Fabiola Of Belgium Posted Image, Jan Janssen, Grand Duke Jean I of Luxembourg, Wubbo Ockels, Fernando Ricksen, Kees Rijvers, Wim Ruska, Toots Thielemans, Martinus J. G. Veltman, Geert Wilders

#15 charon

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Posted 24 January 2014 - 09:44 PM

View PostMagere Hein, on 24 January 2014 - 09:35 PM, said:

View Postcharon, on 24 January 2014 - 07:33 PM, said:

View PostDr. Zorders, on 24 January 2014 - 06:59 PM, said:

The latest bullshit "apocalypse"/horror movie-type scare story, which I'm sure many of you will have seen already, is a drifting, abandoned Russian ship full of "diseased cannibal rats", that "may" be heading towards the UK.

http://uk.news.yahoo...-132016334.html
Unless these rats know how to lower a lifeboat and row it to shore, I don't think we've got too much to worry about.....
If ''cannibal'' there would be one left after a while or am I missing something?

FTFY.

regards,
Hein

And after one left Posted Image ?
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

#16 Death Impends

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Posted 24 January 2014 - 09:49 PM

Rats I don't really mind... animals tend not to bother me, bar some insects.

Granted I live with cats so I never have had to deal with rats as vermin.
DDP Team - Thomas Jefferson Survives (2014 - 7/20 - Evans, Crowe, Ockels, Jaruzelski, Kasem, Farmiloe, Madoff) (2013 - 11/20, 4th place)

Personal 50: Billy Graham, Wojciech Jaruzelski, Sam Simon, Valerie Harper, Clive James, Wilko Johnson, Casey Kasem, Luise Rainer, Gough Whitlam, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Kirk Douglas, Olivia de Havilland, Eli Wallach, Superstar Billy Graham, Fidel Castro, Pope Benedict XVI, Prince Philip, George H.W. Bush, Albert Reynolds, Werner Franz, June Foray, Janet Waldo, George S. Irving, Henry Heimlich, Ingvar Kamprad, Bob Dole, Al Molinaro, Richard Attenborough, Nancy Reagan, King Abdullah, Helmut Kohl, Gunter Grass, Robert Mugabe, Fred Phelps, Jack Chick, John Glenn, Christopher Lee, Maureen O'Hara, Monty Hall, Bob Barker, James D. Watson, Mikhail Gorbachev, Muhammad Ali, Gershon Kingsley, Aaron Shikler, Lauren Bacall, Sid Caesar, Mickey Rooney, Stephen Hawking, Abe Vigoda (14/50 last year)

#17 the_engineer

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Posted 26 January 2014 - 11:01 PM

Probably one of the funniest comedy sketches I have ever saw and i don't usually like American comedy.



I don't believe in coincidences

Basketball was invented in 1987 by konami.

A Man who never eats pork buns is never a whole man .

genesis 22 16 - 18

DDP 2014 - Sovereign-Reaper

wilko johnsonPosted Image , joost van der westhuizen ,George h.w bush , sam simon , valerie harper , Kate Granger , Katherine Crowe, wojcech jaruzelski ,Sally Farmiloe , Clive James , Billy Graham , Tony Benn , Zsa Zsa Gabor , Vera lynn , Kirk Douglas , Saif Gaddafi , Superstar Billy Graham ,Stuart Hall , Fats Domino ,Isabel Peron.

Hartlepool Deadlypool 2014

Billy Graham
Wojcech Jaruzelski
Wilko Johnson
Sam Simon
Joost Van Der Westhuizen
Valerie Harper
Kate Granger

Sally Farmiloe
Katherine Crowe
Clive James

subs 1) George H.W Bush 2) Rolf Harris

#18 Guest_3J_*

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Posted 27 January 2014 - 07:52 PM

Anyone been to theonion.com

It's funny because it looks like a newspaper article but it's not one

#19 Dr. Zorders

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Posted 07 February 2014 - 07:04 PM

http://www.dailymail...men-aim-at.html

A "glow in the dark toilet" to help you pee at night... because, apparently, simply turning the bathroom light on at night is just impossible and out of the question........
Dr. Zorders' 2014 shadow list (8/50)

(numbers 1.-20. = my DDP entry "Dead and Deader")
1. Ian McNeice 2. Posted ImageJeremy Clarkson 3. Sam Simon 4. Ian Paisley 5. Olly Croft 6. John Spencer-Churchill 7. Mills Lane 8. Robert M. Pirsig 9. Ariel Sharon 10. Bernard Hepton 11. Muhammad Ali 12. Tony Benn 13. Geoffrey Howe 14. James Garner 15. John B. Anderson 16. Ian Kennedy Martin 17. Pete Doherty 18. Paul Fox 19. Kim Jong-Un 20. Fidel Castro 21. Charles Manson 22. Joe McGinniss 23. Henry Kissinger 24. David Rockefeller 25. Theodore Kaczynski 26. Chuck Berry 27. Jackie Stallone 28. Valéry Giscard d'Estaing 29. O.J. Simpson 30. George Soros 31. James "Whitey" Bulger 32. Lauren Bacall 33. G. Gordon Liddy 34. Kirk Kerkorian 35. Olivia de Havilland 36. Clifton James 37. David Dinkins 38. Simon Cowell 39. Rev. Billy Graham 40. "Mad" Frankie Fraser 41. Denis Norden 42. John Glenn 43. Richard Ingrams 44. Reinhard Hardegen 45. Vic Seixas 46. Jack Brabham 47. Bernard Ecclestone 48. James Lovelock 49. Robert Mugabe 50. Prince Philip

#20 Lard Bazaar

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Posted 07 February 2014 - 07:25 PM

View PostDr. Zorders, on 07 February 2014 - 07:04 PM, said:

http://www.dailymail...men-aim-at.html

A "glow in the dark toilet" to help you pee at night... because, apparently, simply turning the bathroom light on at night is just impossible and out of the question........

They might have a point. In the first flat I lived in, my bathroom had no windows, hence my extractor fan came on automatically every time you switched the light on. That in turn woke up the baby, therefore I used to pee in the dark.




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