Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
Josco

Nothing To Do With Death, Sorry...

Recommended Posts

That's easy. I have stipulated in my last will and testament that I be buried with as much Hovis as they can squeeze into my chipboard coffin and then my first stop is a Jesus gig. I'll work myself to the front and when he dives into the crowd (congregation surfing I believe it's called) I'm going to dump my bread at his feet and say 'there you go, boss, change that fuc*ing lot into wine.'

 

As a committed alcoholic I believe that it is important to plan for the afterlife that approaches more swiftly with each emptied can...

 

I am no expert in matters biblical, BHB, but I think you may be a little disappointed in Jesus's response. Unless of course you plan to open a sandwich shop in heaven :rolleyes: .

 

I have also just been advised never to visit Blackpool in September. Apparently it would all be too much for me.

 

(I must get out more, I think I am starting to suffer from 'thread agoraphobia').

 

Is it too much to seek a little variation from his act? Strikes me that this Jesus fella is a bit of a one trick pony.

 

Mind you, I'm thinking about what you said about opening a sandwich shop in Heaven. Definite potential, I reckon. I'm going to spend the rest of the day thinking of possible names for the shop. All I've got so far is 'Divine Buns', which is a bit rubbish. How about 'Jesus Crust'? No, maybe not, give me a little longer.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Is it too much to seek a little variation from his act? Strikes me that this Jesus fella is a bit of a one trick pony.

 

Mind you, I'm thinking about what you said about opening a sandwich shop in Heaven. Definite potential, I reckon. I'm going to spend the rest of the day thinking of possible names for the shop. All I've got so far is 'Divine Buns', which is a bit rubbish. How about 'Jesus Crust'? No, maybe not, give me a little longer.

Make sure there's a sign in the window saying 'seating available for 5,000'.

 

You could also have a delivery service called 'Crust on a Bike'. :rolleyes:

 

God's Kitchen?

 

Our Saviour's Savoury Snacks (incorporating Cheeses of Nazareth)?

 

The Raising of the Bread?

 

Not sure how many taxis & coats are required to get out of that.... <_<

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That's easy. I have stipulated in my last will and testament that I be buried with as much Hovis as they can squeeze into my chipboard coffin and then my first stop is a Jesus gig. I'll work myself to the front and when he dives into the crowd (congregation surfing I believe it's called) I'm going to dump my bread at his feet and say 'there you go, boss, change that fuc*ing lot into wine.'

 

As a committed alcoholic I believe that it is important to plan for the afterlife that approaches more swiftly with each emptied can...

 

I am no expert in matters biblical, BHB, but I think you may be a little disappointed in Jesus's response. Unless of course you plan to open a sandwich shop in heaven :rolleyes: .

 

I have also just been advised never to visit Blackpool in September. Apparently it would all be too much for me.

 

(I must get out more, I think I am starting to suffer from 'thread agoraphobia').

 

Is it too much to seek a little variation from his act? Strikes me that this Jesus fella is a bit of a one trick pony.

 

Mind you, I'm thinking about what you said about opening a sandwich shop in Heaven. Definite potential, I reckon. I'm going to spend the rest of the day thinking of possible names for the shop. All I've got so far is 'Divine Buns', which is a bit rubbish. How about 'Jesus Crust'? No, maybe not, give me a little longer.

 

The Lava, the Bun and the Holy Toast?

 

(Must get out this thread!)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Bread of Heaven has a nice ring to it

Cob Almighty

Holy Toast

 

Tonks, my coat if you please. My Carriage awaits

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Make mine a "Son Blessed" please.

 

That carrage got room for one more up top? :rolleyes:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This has nothing to do with death, unless this guy decides to top himself once his mates (if he has any) read this story

 

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14486560/

 

What kind of trip was he going on where he is travelling with his mother, but packs like that?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Make mine a "Son Blessed" please.

 

That carrage got room for one more up top? :banghead:

Mrs Josco is out with the little J's, and I have just got in from an early doors...

 

Nearly wet myself with some of the God's bakery jokes. Fantastic stuff.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×

Important Information

Your use of this forum is subject to our Terms of Use