Oh, it happens every Friday night in town centres across the UK, CA.
We are well used to see vomiting whales, resplendent in very short skirts and painted on eyebrows bringing up the evenings Jaegerbombs and kebab specials.
Us Brits are sheer class or summat.
Have you been stalking me?
Have shot myself in the foot in the last week. Last Thursday I went on a big night out with my friends and got rather hammered. I then drunkenly got with my flatmate.I have no idea why even though I was drunk as she is rather irritating although well meaning. Suffice to say she now thinks we are going out and I am figuring out how to give her the boot without hurting her feelings and also due to the fact she lives right next door. Awkward times ahead indeed !
Easy, just act like a massive asshole and she will dump you. When you say flatmate, do you actually live in the same flat and she just has the room next door to yours, or does she actually live next door? If it's the first, then this is piss easy, you just do things like get drunk and piss in her wardrobe, or leave porn DVDs in the player, or let her overhear you on the phone to all your other birds. If she lives next door, wait until she's home one night and then bang another bird really loudly up against your adjoining wall, while shouting 'THAT'S IT, AUNTY MARGARET, TAKE IT TO THE HILT IN YOUR BACK DOOR YOU FUCKING DIRTY OLD BITCH'. She will be kicking you in the bollocks and telling you to fuck off in no time.
Brilliant haha!Unfortunately she has turned out to be a bit like Glenn Close in Fatal attraction.At least I don`t have a rabbit:P She lives in the room next door but we share a kitchen.
Well that's even better - take some selfies of you shitting in a saucepan and wanking into her fromage frais, and post them on her Facebook wall. She will be running for the hills before you can say 'can I have one phone call to my brief please'
Sadly if she follows the FA model that shit in the saucepan will be turned into your next Bolognese and the Fromage Frais will be her face cream of choice.