Jump to content


Replying to A Joke


Post Options

  or Cancel


Topic Summary

Paul Bearer

Posted 29 October 2014 - 10:59 PM

Oscar Pistorius woke up this morning and found that there really was a burglar using his toilet.

Dr. Zorders

Posted 29 October 2014 - 06:39 PM

Why are redneck murders the hardest to solve?
There's no dental records and the DNA's all the same.

Damon Killian

Posted 29 October 2014 - 06:13 PM

I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with but I've been trippin' all day

maryportfuncity

Posted 29 October 2014 - 03:49 PM

A bloke walks out of a Miranda Hart gig. After the gig the bloke's wife goes up to Miranda and says "sorry about my husband wandering out."

"It did put me off a bit" says Miranda.

"I understand," says the wife, "but after ten years together I've got used to him walking in his sleep."

Phantom

Posted 29 October 2014 - 01:21 PM

My wife was offended when I used the word "vomit" during dinner last night.
But that's what her cooking tasted like.

Bibliogryphon

Posted 29 October 2014 - 06:12 AM

View PostDr. Zorders, on 29 October 2014 - 04:16 AM, said:

View Postmaryportfuncity, on 27 October 2014 - 05:16 PM, said:

I picked up a paper hankie and it ran across the table shouting. It said: "Salmon live in trees and eat pencils, David Moyes is the best football boss there ever was and JFK topped himself with an exploding gob stopper."

Honestly, it was nowt but a tissue of lies!

Eh...

Dr. Zorders

Posted 29 October 2014 - 04:16 AM

View Postmaryportfuncity, on 27 October 2014 - 05:16 PM, said:

I picked up a paper hankie and it ran across the table shouting. It said: "Salmon live in trees and eat pencils, David Moyes is the best football boss there ever was and JFK topped himself with an exploding gob stopper."

Honestly, it was nowt but a tissue of lies!

Eh....... quite awful but still better than a couple of the ones Phantom has posted.

maryportfuncity

Posted 27 October 2014 - 05:16 PM

I picked up a paper hankie and it ran across the table shouting. It said: "Salmon live in trees and eat pencils, David Moyes is the best football boss there ever was and JFK topped himself with an exploding gob stopper."

Honestly, it was nowt but a tissue of lies!

Phantom

Posted 27 October 2014 - 04:56 PM

Yesterday when I was out shopping, a clown held a door open for me.
I thought that was a really nice jester.

maryportfuncity

Posted 26 October 2014 - 04:31 PM

Apparently the terror cell intercepted by police last week were planning an attack on QPR vs West Ham United next year.

ISIS hate:

Queens

Park rangers

the West

and

Ham

Review the complete topic (launches new window)