Replying to A Joke
Posted 07 March 2014 - 09:00 PM
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"...
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Nina Capelli?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"
"Please, Father! I cannot tell you."
Posted 07 March 2014 - 02:02 PM
Other than to report that he places his genitals in its mouth, smacks it on the head with a plank, is pleasured as a result, and then offers £50 to anyone else who cares to try the trick (“I’ll have a go,” pipes up a little old lady, “but don’t hit me on the head as hard as you hit that crocodile,”)
Posted 07 March 2014 - 01:38 PM
The gorilla was in season and to make matters worse, there was no male
gorilla available. Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper
thought of Albert Tobytyke, a local lad & part-time worker responsible
for cleaning the animal cages.
Albert, like many Barnsley blokes, felt he had ample ability
to satisfy any female. The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a
solution, so Albert was approached with a proposition. Would he be
willing to mate with the gorilla for £500?
Albert showed some interest, but said he would have to think
the matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he
would accept their offer, but only under four conditions:
1. "First up", Albert...
Posted 28 February 2014 - 08:56 PM
Bob replied, "Yes, I'm my wife's sexual advisor."
Somewhat shocked, he asked, "I beg your pardon, what do you mean by that?"
"Very simple. My wife said that when she needs or wants my f**king advice, she'll ask me for it."
Posted 28 February 2014 - 08:45 PM
I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have
been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, more
than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer
live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise
that it won't happen again.
The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and
without a word, shot his wife and killed her.
A few moments later, a second text came in:
Damned autocorrect. I meant "wifi", not "wife".
Posted 21 February 2014 - 08:58 PM
I replied "Has tha got a pen?"
She smiled and said "Yes."
I replied, "Well tha'd better get back to it, afore t'farmer notices tha's missin."
Posted 18 February 2014 - 07:54 PM
with his mate when a lorry went by
loaded up with rolls of turf.
Paddy said, “I gonna do that when
I win the lottery”.
What's dat ?”, said his mate.
“Send me lawn away to be cut”, said Paddy.
Posted 17 February 2014 - 08:45 PM
Because he forgot to clear his lines....
*dodges rotten fruit*
Posted 15 February 2014 - 11:42 PM