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Replying to A Joke

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Posted Yesterday, 11:35 PM

A man is on an exclusive golf course having a round on his own.  He encounters another player on his own and they suggest going around together.  After a while they start chatting. 

What do you do for a living?

I'm a stockbroker.

You must make good money.

Yeah, pretty good.  See that house on the hill (pointing at a mansion not far from the course), that's my house.

Very nice.

What about you, what do you do for a living?

I'm a hitman.

Wow, that's amazing.  How do you kill people?

I shoot them (and with that he goes into his bag and brings out his rifle complete with telescopic sights).  I am such a good shot that I don't charge by the kill I charge by the shot.  $50,000 per shot.

Can I have a look?  The stockbroker looks through the sights towards his house and sees his business partner and his wife nude in the bedroom.  That fucking bastard business partner of mine is fucking my wife.  Look I have lots of money, can you fix them for me?

Sure...what would you like done.

Well that filthy bitch wife of mine you can shoot her in the head, but I need my business partner so can you shoot his dick off.

Ok.  He sets up his rifle and stands there for ages waiting to take the shot.

What's going on?

Just give me a few more seconds and I think I can save you $50,000.


Posted Yesterday, 08:40 PM


Pistol Knight

Posted Yesterday, 08:34 PM

Just got myself a new job helping a one armed typist. I will be typing all the capital letters on their behalf. It's called "Shift" work.

Dr. Zorders

Posted Yesterday, 03:33 AM

You see those machines in toilets that sell the little rubber things for "prevention of disease"?


Don't fall for it, I wore one for three weeks and I still got mumps.


Posted 22 November 2015 - 01:16 AM

Yoko Ono has been flown into 'The Jungle' to help the celebrities survive, she's got plenty experience due to the fact she's been living off a dead Beatle for 35 years!


Posted 21 November 2015 - 10:56 PM

Did you hear about the magic tractor ?


It turned into a field


I've always loved that one.   tractor-smiley-emoticon.gif


Posted 21 November 2015 - 10:20 PM

What do you get hanging from an apple tree ?


Sore arms :-)



Did you hear about the magic tractor ?


It turned into a field

Dr. Zorders

Posted 21 November 2015 - 07:46 PM

What do you call a dog with no legs?


It doesn't matter, he won't come anyway!


Posted 20 November 2015 - 12:46 PM

An oldie but a goodie




Another oldie




Posted 17 November 2015 - 01:07 PM

Hacker group, Anonymous have declared war on ISIS.

This means that ISIS will finally get what they've been waiting for all this time.

They will get screwed by 72 virgins.

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